Author: Nightengale
Disclaimer: BTVS characters aren't mine but belong to the genius Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB, 20th Century Fox. Song "Here with Me" written by D. Armstrong, P. Statham and P. Gabriel, performed by Dido from the album "No Angel".
Rated: R (a little NC-17)
Note: When I first heard this song on the radio and saw the MTV video, the first thing I thought of was Buffy. It was the perfect song to describe the agony of lost love.
Dedicated to Tink and Lex, my idols and those B/A shippers who have emailed me with great feedback. Please continue your feedback, so I'll be inspired to write more.
Buffy's lips quivered with the feel of his cold lips brushing hers. She trembled at his touch and moaned in ecstasy, as his hands delicately caressed her breast. She was drowning in pleasure as his kisses trailed downward, worshiping every inch of her body.
Her body and soul ached for him. She sighed relief as he entered her, ending the months of loneliness. Buffy felt completely whole again and called out his name as her pleasure peaked.
She reached for him, aching to touch the only man she ever loved; but felt only the cold air. Buffy sat up in bed and searched her room. It was dark and she was alone. // It was only a dream. //
I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Buffy walked out of the apartment she shared with Willow. It was a cool autumn night and she inhaled the cool breeze surrounding her. It would be another sleepless night and she decided to make it a productive one by patrolling.
She strolled the familiar path around campus, trying to keep her mind occupied with the hunt. It was useless to fight the tears and emotions begging for release. Her heart felt empty and incomplete without him. She sat under the tree as the wall she built around her heart, came tumbling down.
Six months had passed by, but nothing had changed for her. He was on her mind constantly, occupying her wake and sleeping hours. The tears flowed freely now as all the painful memories flooded her mind.
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
The memories came flowing in like bits and pieces of a movie reel; from their first meeting in the alley, when he gave her the cross necklace to their one night of passion. She winced as the dreadful memories of Angelus and night she sent her precious lover to hell rolled in. She thought nothing could hurt more than what she went through, when she sent Angel to hell, but she was wrong. This was more than she could bear.
She methodically massaged her neck, feeling the small scar he left her, on that faithful night. Her last connection to the only man she ever loved. He marked her with their one night of passion and staked her soul forever, when he drained her essence. No words of good-byes were ever spoken but the images of his face on that last night forever etched on her mind.
Dawn was fast approaching and with it a new hope. Buffy remained sheltered under the tree making her plans. She had thought about it all night and knew what had to be done. She needed to see him and know he was all right, even from a distance.
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
She remained in her car, hidden behind the tinted windows observing the building. Buffy clutch the piece of paper with shaky hands. It contained the name and address of a detective agency in LA, that Willow found on the net. She was planning to employ the aide of the private investigator to track Angel; but was shock when it was his voice that answered the phone.
Buffy observed the three figures emerging from the building. She noted the two familiar figures of Angel and Cordelia, but did not recognize the other man. Her gazed locked on her ex-lover, as she took in the sight of him. He was dressed in black, with his long trench coat flapping in the wind. She noted a slight anxious look crossing his face, as he surveyed the sky above him. Buffy knew that dawn was fast approaching and he would be heading home.
I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been
She had followed him home, careful not to alert him of her presence. Buffy waited in her car until ten am as she gathered her courage to make her move. She entered his apartment with stealth, only a slayer could possess. She noted the sparse furnishing and the care he took in protecting himself from sunlight.
Buffy entered his room fully aware that Angel would be in deep vampire slumber. She stood frozen at the foot of his bed, watching him sleep. She soaked in the sight of him, from his angelic face to his muscular body. He turned slightly kicking off the bedcovers exposing the rest of his well-defined torso covered only with black silk boxer shorts.
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
Her courage was slowly slipping away but the need to be with him was stronger. Her body and soul ached to be close even just for awhile. She undressed down to her silk undergarments and made her move to join him in bed. Buffy sat gingerly at the bed and continued to observe her sleeping Angel.
He stirred slightly, kicking the rest of the cover. His angelic face now bore a grimace and his hands clutch the sheet. He whimpered her name intermittently and began a chant of "I'm sorry and I love you".
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
She gently caressed his face and leaned down to whisper "rest my love". Her gentle touch and words soothed him. Angel remained asleep dreaming of her. Her scent filled his senses fueling his dream and desires. The dream felt so real. He began to stir, opening his eyes sensing someone in the room. He could not decipher reality from his dream as he stared at his soulmate.
"Buffy?" He called out, still wondering if this was just a dream. He reached for her, gently stroking her cheek with his hand.
She remained still, a million thoughts running through her mind. Her mind telling her to leave and her heart to stay.
"I just need to be close." She whispered.
I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
He smiled and opened his arms. She slipped into his welcoming embrace reveling in the comforting feel of his cold skin against her warmth. He kissed her head and caressed her back savoring the moment. They remained silent, their bodies entwined. No words needed to be spoken, for each touch expressed what they were feeling. Buffy placed her head on his chest. // HOME! // She closed her eyes and knew this was where she belonged now and forever. They fell asleep, their bodies entwined and their souls at peace the vampire and his slayer.
The End
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