AUTHOR: Deede
EMAIL: deedej@pacbell.net
RATING: NC-17
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Buffy and so on. The characters will be returned unharmed, if not happier than they are in their current state. Please don't sue, that would be mean.
SUMMARY: Buffy receives a proposition from a group of strangers that has the power to change her life forever.
Prologue:
Buffy sat bored at the table in the library, waiting impatiently for Giles to finish with the high school students he was currently helping in an attempt to shoo them out of there faster. She was actually and uncharacteristically looking forward to training that day, she had spent a long day attending her college courses at a near by school and she was feeling antsy, her muscles just aching to be used. Lately she had been concentrating very heavily on her slaying, almost throwing herself into it each night and Giles was getting worried. Not that he didn't approve of Buffy's improved energy towards her calling, but it was not like her to put her duties above what she would call her social life. She was attempting to turn her emotions off and use her slaying as an escape and Giles didn't like it one bit.
Giles had spent the last few restless nights awake trying to analyze just at what point it was that Buffy had begun to fall in this downward spiral she was currently heading, but he knew the answer; he just didn't know what to do about it. It had started when the soul filled vampire Angel had left Sunnydale a little over a year ago, leaving a heart broken Buffy devastated by his departure. When Buffy had started to date again all of the gang had become concerned, realizing how much she had suffered over Angel and not knowing how the new guy, Riley Finn, would handle Buffy's status of slayer once he was to learn about it. It turns out they were right to be concerned, once the young man started to associate himself with Buffy he became the target of every vampire and demon in Sunnydale, each wanting to use him as a pawn to get to the slayer. At least Angel had been a vampire, someone able to defend himself and fight along side Buffy during the course of their courtship, but Riley didn't have that advantage and was killed one fateful night by a group of vampires.
Giles knew Buffy blamed herself for Riley's death, dealing with her guilt by shutting down her emotions and closing herself off to her friends and family. Buffy's closest friends, Willow and Xander, had come to Giles earlier that week, each saying that Buffy no longer wanted to go out and have fun and she refused to open up and talk to anyone. Buffy had always carried the weight of other people's lives on her shoulders but she had always been able to bounce back. She had always had the capability in the past to maintain a positive attitude but for some reason she was holding on this time, and Giles just wished he could get to the bottom of it. It had been three months since Riley's death and the slayer had not cracked a smile since. Giles was beyond concern at this point, and it worried him more now that he had another mission for Buffy. Something that could potentially bring old wounds to the surface, but something that needed to be done none the less.
At last Giles got rid of the lingering students and turned his attention to his sullen slayer. Buffy stood up from the table, ready to head to the weapons cabinet to grab some weapons for training but Giles just motioned for her to sit back down. He indicated with a wave of his hand and a nod of his head that he had something to discuss with her first. Buffy just looked up at him expectantly, hoping to not receive yet another 'what's wrong with you' speech, a rant she had gotten repeatedly from just about everyone who was close to her. Yet Giles had something else up his sleeve.
"Buffy, I need you, Willow and Xander to go retrieve a book for me. I believe the book that I'm looking for holds the key to some events that are going to occur in Sunnydale and I am at a loss without it," Giles said, looking at his slayer expectantly. Though all the while he was trying to hide his anxiety over how she was going to react when he told her where it was that this book he needed was located.
Buffy let out an inaudible sigh of relief, glad to have missed a lecture. A retrieval task she could handle, she was actually looking forward to it, it was another way of getting her mind off of things by immersing herself in a task, no matter what the task. She looked up at Giles again, waiting for him to continue with the specifics of her mission.
"The book I need is held by an elderly gentlemen in the down town part of LA by the name of Charles Nedo, he is a retired member of the council who runs a small book store. I would go myself but I have important things to finish with here. Hopefully it wont take you more than a weekend to find him and retrieve the book," Giles continued, observing the shock spread across his slayer's face when he mentioned the book was in LA, he knew somehow that that was how she would react. Putting her in not only the same town, but also the same part of town that the vampire Angel resided in was asking for trouble, but he saw no other alternative. He just hoped that Buffy could handle a potential encounter with Angel and come out unscathed, the last thing he needed was for her to shut out more than she already was doing.
Buffy's heart rate started to race at an astronomical rate and panic over took her system. Why did it have to be LA, and more specifically that part of the city? Angel was in LA; the tall, dark, and handsome soul filled vampire that still held her heart to this day, the very man that was the source of her recent problems. Buffy had never known a pain as sharp as the one she felt when Angel left, it was as if a piece of herself had left with him and she was now lost and incomplete. She had attempted once to fill that missing piece, but nothing other than Angel ever could, she had already realized that three months ago with the death of Riley Finn.
Riley was the biggest mistake of Buffy's life. He was handsome and charming and mysterious, just like Angel, but she had never truly loved him. Her heart belonged to Angel, even though she had tried to convince herself otherwise. When Buffy and Riley had first started dating she couldn't help but to constantly compare him to Angel. She would ask him to comb his hair in a style that Angel would have worn, she bought him the soap that Angel had used and she had even given him a shirt for his birthday that was similar to one she had seen Angel in once. It was as if she was trying to turn Riley into Angel and she wasn't even consciously aware she was doing it. There had never been that spark between her and Riley that she used to feel when she and Angel touched. She never felt the all encompassing desire to touch or caress or to hold Riley the way she had when ever she was around Angel, and yet she tried to convince herself that she would grow to have similar feelings with Riley in time, then Riley died.
Buffy had never had so much guilt in her life, not since sending Angel to hell those couple of summers ago. Riley had deserved so much more because he was basically a good person. He had died a meaningless and tragic death, his whole future cut short, and it was all because of his association with her. She had not loved him the way he had deserved to be loved and now no one else ever would. There were times when she wanted to curse Angel and his hold over her and other times when she just simply missed him with everything in her, while struggling with her pride for doing so.
However, the thought of actually going to LA and seeing him for the first time in a long time frightened her more then anything. Her biggest fear was that Angel had moved on, that he was dating someone whom he loved that didn't have moms or school or mortality to get in the way of their relationship, soul or no soul. She did not want to find out that he left and forgotten about her. Though she knew it was selfish, she didn't think she could handle seeing Angel in the arms of another, seeing him satisfied and adjusted in a new life when she still harbored strong feelings for him. She knew she shouldn't begrudge Angel any joy in his otherwise tragic filled life, but the fact was that she wanted him to be missing her as much as she missed him. She didn't want him to have moved on when she hadn't been able to herself, poor Riley dying as result of her miserable attempt to try.
She didn't know if she saw Angel again if he would be able to read her like he used to. Would he be able to tell by looking at her that she was responsible for someone's death? Would he see the guilt she carried? The guilt that shrouded her countenance for not only the death of Riley but also the feelings of betrayal she felt on Angel's behalf for her having attempted to move on in the first place. The remorse she felt for not being true to her heart. Buffy didn't want to have to face up to these questions, she wanted to simply be left alone to think about things in her own way, but she knew that in matters of slaying she couldn't very well tell Giles that she couldn't or more accurately wouldn't do his assignment. She was the slayer; it was her responsibility to do what it takes to protect mankind. The most she could hope for was grabbing Willow and Xander to make a quick trip to LA with out having to run into anybody while there. They needed to get the task done and as quickly as possible.
Buffy stood up once again, nodding her head to Giles, keeping her expression unreadable. "I will leave right after patrol tonight, hopefully it won't take us long, we can look the guy up while there. I'm going to make a quick sweep of the graveyard and then I'll gather the others to leave. I'll check in with you before we go," she said, trying desperately to play it cool even though her stomach was in knots.
"Good," Giles responded, nodding his head in approval, hoping in his heart that he was doing the right thing and not making matters worse.
Chapter One:
Buffy took a brief moment to catch her breath before moving back into her current predicament. She should have known that what was supposed to be her quick jaunt through the graveyard was going to end up a long and tiring wrestling match with a demon who seemed to get a delight out of a fight with the legendary slayer. Buffy found the confidence that the demon had in his fighting ability annoying, and she quickly ducked punches while getting in hits of her own, determined to put the demon in his place.
She moved quickly, spinning out of the demon's aim while frantically searching the ground for something to use as a weapon. For some reason she felt her wooden stake wouldn't get through the crustacean type exterior of the demon she was facing. Relief came in the form of a broken off piece of vine that was thick enough to do some damage. While the demon was preoccupied with clutching the knee that Buffy had just kicked, she moved to grasp the vine in her hand. The demon once again lunged for the slayer, but this time Buffy was waiting for him. As the demon moved closer she wrapped either end of the vine around her hands, and tugged the middle of the vine straight between her grasp, securing a firm grip. The demon invaded her personal just in time for her to lift her arms up and wrap the vine around his neck and tug with all of her strength, breaking off the demon's circulation. For a few moments the demon struggled wildly, clutching frantically at his neck, but after awhile he stilled in death and Buffy released her grip and let out a sigh of relief.
Before Buffy could revel too long in her victory she heard the sound of clapping coming from behind her. Spinning swiftly on her heals she turned to face two men dressed in polo shirts and dockers, one of the men looked older, while the other one looked about her own age, with a dimpled smile and large luminous eyes. Both held expressions of amusement as they continued their applause. Buffy was instantly weary and not in the mood to deal with anything further that evening, though her curiosity always got the better of her.
"I'm so glad I can amuse the two of you. Is there any particular reason that you're out in the graveyard in the middle of the night watching me fight? The only people that are up this late are demons and me, and so if you guys are demons would you mind if we skip the small talk and get to the fight?" Buffy shot out in her usually slayer flippant style. Her body was once again tensing for a fight, though the one bright spot about the potential for more conflict was that it kept her mind off her little mission to LA, that and it prolonged the inevitable.
The older gentleman chuckled, bringing his palms up in the form of surrender. "You do not understand, Miss Summers, we are not here to fight you. As for the clapping, we were just extremely impressed with your work, its wonderful to know that you are as imaginative and cunning a fighter as we have heard," he replied.
"Well, thanks. I guess. I didn't know I had a fan club, but we'll skip that for now and get straight to the 'what are you doing here' part of the conversation. So, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked, letting down her guard somewhat.
This time the younger guy spoke up, his eyes moving down Buffy's body appreciatively in a way that made her blush a bright color. "We are members of IROD, my name is Talan and this is Chan. We are here because you have been chosen to be the sole inductee from this century to join our ranks," he said, smiling at the curiosity evident in her gaze.
"Oh deja vu, how many times do I get to hear the 'you have been chosen' speech in my lifetime? Okay, I'll bite, what is IROD and why was I chosen for it?" Buffy inquired, crossing her arms over her chest in an attempt to partially disguise her interest in the conversation, the subject of books and LA briefly forgotten.
The older gentleman, Chan, interceded once again. "IROD stands for Immortal Researchers of Demonology. Quite simply, we are a secret organization that does precisely what our title suggests. We explore the world of demons and demonology. We keep records of our findings, we travel the world in search of new or even older abnormalities of life and we occasionally interfere with the fates and get involved in some unruly incidences. We have existed for many centuries, the Watchers Council that you quit from awhile ago uses our publishes for their own research, and we are extremely selective in who we welcome into our group. Only one person per century is invited to join and that person must exhibit extraordinary qualities, things that we have noticed that you possess Miss Summers. The Watchers Council has stated that you are one of the strongest slayers they've seen and we believe that you will flourish in our organization. As a member of IROD you will be asked to go through the ritual of immortality, after your immortality is granted you will be free to chose your own field of interest for study. We can skip the fighter training because you are pretty trained already and you will be able to keep your slayer capabilities even after the ceremony. This is a great honor Miss Summers, and it is an honor for us to welcome you into the fold. Of course the decision to join is still yours to make but we strongly suggest you do. We can guarantee you a much longer life then most slayers will ever or have ever received. What do you think?" He asked, his breath not even short after that long speech.
Buffy's mind was busily trying to grasp the significance of what these two had come here to do, the whole thing seemed slightly unreal to her, as if someone was going to pop out at any moment and announce that it was a practical joke. However the faces of the two men in front of her were solemn and she knew on an instinctive level that this was a very serious matter. Her first impulse was to shout out "No way," and run like mad from these people's company. The idea of her becoming immortal and joining some weird organization was nuts, she was the slayer and a student and a daughter and a friend. The option to choose this as a destiny didn't seem that plausible, even besides the fact that she didn't particularly relish in the thought of spending eternity immersing herself in a world of demonology. As if being the slayer didn't already involve her in that world enough. She wanted out of this insanity that was her life, she did not want something that would cause her to be in it for an even longer haul. Though an unknown source kept her glued to her spot.
Since her brief brush with death a few years ago at the age of sixteen she had feared dying, and she thought that perhaps the reason she stayed frozen in place was because these people now offered her a means of survival. They offered her a chance to escape from under the knowledge that slayers lived short lives and died tragically violent deaths. She didn't want to die like that, she wanted to live, though in living she was planning on growing old with Willow and Xander and playing checkers all afternoon. She had had no plans on staying nineteen forever, but there were other things to think about too, more intriguing thoughts that kept her still.
Thoughts like those of Angel, her first and only love. The one who had left her and Sunnydale because he was immortal and she was not. The one who had left because he thought he was holding her back from a normal life, however amusing she still found that particular argument. She still didn't think she would ever be capable of having a normal life and Riley's death more than proved that to her. Her and normal never seemed to cross paths, and most likely never would. A small part of her wanted to become immortal and shove it in Angel's face. She had a brief desire to hold her potential immortality over his head. A larger part of her realized the stupidity of becoming immortal just to prove Angel wrong. Whatever her decision, she knew she had to leave Angel out of it. He wasn't a part of her life now by his own doing and Buffy didn't know if she could get over the hurt of him leaving her to rekindle anything with him anyway, even if he still held the same feelings for her that she felt for him. She was scarred for life from men, and it all centered on Angel.
She stood there for what seemed like eternity of silence, still in a kind of shock over the whole thing. For some reason she couldn't turn these guys down right away and she felt that was something she needed to explore a little while longer before she made a decision. Finally she found her voice, "I will need time to think it over, I'm not sure that I'm up to living forever and I definitely don't know about a long life of immersing myself in demons. Can I think about it for awhile? I need to make a short trip to LA to retrieve something for my Watcher. If it is all right with you I would like to take that time to think about everything that you are offering. I promise to give you an answer when I get back," she said, her face set in a thought filled expression.
Chan smiled his own expression pleased with Buffy's words. "To be honest we'd be glad to give you time to think it over. We would have to be concerned if you jumped into it right away without considering everything first. The fact that you want to think about it shows a lot for your character. However, if you don't mind we would like to accompany you on this trip. It will be a means to get better aquainted and a means to understand more about the life of the strongest slayer of all time."
Buffy blushed at those words, but nodded her head in approval, not sure why she trusted these men to come along but confidant that everything was going to be okay. "Yes, you can come. I was about to go get my friends to come with me, if you two are ready we can leave as soon as I check in with my watcher."
Both men nodded their heads in agreement and Buffy simply turned to quietly start the walk to Giles' home, her two new acquaintances fast behind her. All the while her mind was occupied with the possibilities.
Chapter 2:
The streets of LA were like a Mecca of the underworld, the place where demons came to roam free and hide their existence amongst the crowds of people. It was the land of bright lights and flashy cars, the city were the soul filled vampire Angel struggled on a nightly basis to keep free of evil and safe for humanity, even though there were times when it seemed as though humanity wasn't deserving of his efforts. Still he forged on, head strong and determined, saving the souls of others while securing the safety of his own in the process. The nightly war he raged was his way of making up for his vampiric nature and ancestry, his way of controlling his own destiny, rather than submitting his being over to the dark recesses of his demonic alter ego. He was the dark Angel, an enemy to the demon underworld though not stereotypically heroic either. He had seen too much of the world to be entirely devoid of pessimism, though his heart and his mind still held the intensity of hope and the ability to recognize and strive for true good, something that always seemed to be just barely out of his reach.
Cordelia watched as Angel entered the club and started walking over to her, the expression on his face unreadable, as usual. Despite a year of working together, Angel was still a mystery. He refused to open up, keeping his true self-hidden behind carefully constructed walls of courage and determination. To her knowledge there had only been one person that had ever been capable of breaking through those walls, and that person was in Sunnydale fighting her own battles against the darker side of existence. However, Cordelia still considered Angel a friend, no matter what his disposition, and therefore she helped him whenever she could, supporting him in his cause to take out the demon population of LA.
Tonight they had planned to meet to do discuss the information Cordelia had been gathering on a rash of disappearances that had been taking place in their area. The latest person to disappear was a man by the name of Charles Nedo, an elderly gentleman whom ran a bookstore just a few blocks from the club they were at. The man's profile match with the other disappearances in the area, though Angel felt they were all connected somehow and he had sent her to dig into the gentleman's history. So dig she did and in doing so she had found out something very interesting about the man's past, something she knew Angel would find interesting as well, assuming he ever made it over to her.
Cordelia shook her head in disgust as a small blonde woman intercepted Angel on his way over to the bar in which Cordelia sat. She recognized the woman as one that Angel had saved a few nights ago from a vampire attack and ever since that night the woman had been showing up like some groupie and throwing herself all over Angel. Cordelia couldn't believe Angel even gave the person the time of day, though she figured it was the appearance of the woman that really drew Angel's attention; small and blonde and sharing a lot of physical attributes with a certain slayer she knew. Whatever Angel's reasons for not dismissing the woman right away, he and Cordelia had work to do and she decided it was time to put a stop to this nonsense.
She slowly got up from her seat and sauntered over to Angel, draping her arms around his neck and flicking an evil smile towards the blonde. "Honey, what took you so long? I have been waiting for you for such a long time. You know I don't like to wait, you have to make it up to me now," Cordelia exclaimed in a sickly sweet tone of voice, giving off every possible hint to the other woman to move on and go find someone else to pester. Angel looked annoyed at her for doing it but he made no move to correct the misunderstanding and the blonde woman backed away from them both, mumbling under her breath about excusing herself to go to the restroom. Once she was out of earshot, Cordelia separated herself from Angel and regarded him thoughtfully.
"You know Angel, you got the hair and body build right but your lacking in all other aspects. Buffy had an IQ that surpasses the single digits, unlike supreme bimbo over there and though I loathe saying it, she also dresses a whole hell of a lot better. As touching as this search for a Buffy clone is, I think you can do her a little more justice than that thing that was just hanging on you, I mean puh-lease!" Cordelia said, not meaning to be unkind but genuinely concerned for Angel. She didn't think that this little obsession of his was healthy, though she had also come to realize over the months that Angel's love for Buffy ran deeper than any thing she had ever witnessed in her own nineteen years of life. She knew that he missed her and that leaving her had all but killed him, but she also knew enough to realize that no other little, petite, blonde could fill that void in his heart.
"There is only one Buffy," she finished with, and she cringed a little in anger towards herself as Angel's face became a mask of sorrow.
On a conscience level Angel understood what Cordelia was trying to tell him, and his heart ached as he realized she was right. There never could be another Buffy, though he hadn't realized until it had been pointed out to him that he had been trying to recreate one with the various amounts of women he ran into. Buffy was the angelic ghost that still haunted his mind, all golden and sunshine, with an inner strength and beauty that surpassed anyone he had ever met in his two hundred and forty-five years of existence. There were nights when he was alone that her image would spring forth from the recesses of his mind and he would remember with clarity her laugh and her smile and her stubborn expression of genuine resolve. He missed her terribly, though he tried not to think about it too often at the risk of slipping into brooding mode. Buffy was the model of true good that he tried so desperately to achieve, so it was no coincidence that she also was always just barely out of his reach.
"Have you talked to Buffy at all lately, Angel?" Cordelia asked, her worry now evident in her features. "Did you tell her about the necklace?"
"No, I haven't, and I'm not going to. It wouldn't change anything if she knew about it. Sure, I have found a way to keep my soul but the truth is I am still an immortal vampire and she is not. I want her to have a normal, happy life, not one tied down with someone who never ages and has to remain in the shadows. She deserves so much more than that, and besides she has probably already moved on," Angel said; though his heart became heavy at the thought of Buffy in the arms of another.
"Yeah right! Whatever! I'm willing to bet that she has probably moved about as much as you have. She was just as nuts about you that you are about her you know," Cordelia stated, not fooled for a minute by the vampire's words.
"I know," Angel replied, the sadness once again consuming him. The necklace that Cordelia spoke of was the miniature model of the Orb of Thesula that he wore around his neck held up by a gold chain. The necklace had been a gift from an old gypsy woman he had saved from a demon about a month ago. It was designed to capture Angel's soul if he were to experienced a moment of true happiness and then send the soul back into Angel's body before his demonic side was able to gain control. The gypsy woman had been kind enough to cast a spell so that the necklace might never be removed and now Angel considered it a part of him, the part of him that kept him grounded to this world.
Every day since receiving the necklace Angel had wanted to call Buffy and tell her about it. He had had the intense desire to run back to Sunnydale and take her in his arms, but then he would realize that although the necklace helped prevent his dark side from emerging it did nothing to change what he was. He was a vampire, she was the slayer and they were meant to exist in two separate worlds. Leaving her had been the hardest thing that he had ever had to do in his life but he had done it because he loved her and because he wanted to put her potential happiness over his own. However none of this changed the fact that he loved her still, and he knew that he always would.
Cordelia just shook her head, sad for Angel and for Buffy, their lives were so unbelievably tragic, but there was nothing that could be done about it. For now she and Angel had some things to discuss. "So, now that we've thoroughly depressed ourselves and now that we've gotten rid of super slut, shall we get back to work? I found some stuff out about this Charles Nedo guy that might interest you," Cordelia exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood and get down to business at the same time.
Angel simply nodded his head and waved his hand to indicate that she continue while once again slipping behind his walls, letting his mask of indifference return to his face. He willed the thoughts of Buffy and his love life into the corners of his mind to be dealt with later, knowing they would surface again before too long. Right now he had some work to do.
Chapter 3:
Sunnydale was unusually quiet for this time of night as Giles paced worriedly in his home, impatient for Buffy to return from her patrol. Like any other night that he had sent her out into the great unknown he worried for her safety, but tonight he had numerous other things to add to that already lengthy worry list. Giles had just gotten off the phone with the LAPD while attempting to contact Charles Nedo at his bookstore. The call had been made by him in an attempt to ease Buffy's book retrieval task so she could get to LA and back without any major difficulty but the news he got in return did more damage then it did good. Charles Nedo had turned up missing without a trace from the store a few nights ago and Giles knew that as a result Buffy was in for a much longer excursion to LA then she had originally planned.
The fact that Charles Nedo was a retired member of the Watcher's Council escalated the chances that his disappearance was demon related, and if his kidnapping was in fact demon related then the I-want-to-kill-them-all-and-make-amends Angel was more then likely already involved in the search to find the man's captors. Either way the odds that Buffy would run into Angel while in LA had drastically increased with the news of the man's kidnapping, thus causing Giles to worry even more then he had before. The best he could hope to do was warn her of the impending fate and then pray for the best. Though he couldn't help but think that now would be a good time for Buffy to find that solid inner strength she was so known for possessing.
At last he heard a knock on his door and he let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding in as a sigh of relief. Purposely he made his way to the door, his face an open book of equal parts worry and anxiety. He did his best to put on a smile in an attempt to hide his concern but his smile faltered when he opened his door to discover that Buffy was not alone, she had brought company.
Giles eyed the two men that stood behind Buffy with curiosity, wondering who they were and why Buffy had brought them with her to his house. Still, he knew Buffy well enough to know that she probably had a good reason for bringing a committee back with her from her patrol. That and he trusted her enough to know that she wouldn't have brought them if she thought that they were a potential danger to him or to herself. However, his trust in Buffy and her judgment did nothing to levitate his curiosity in what exactly was going on. He felt his parental protectiveness over her kick into place as he invited the three into his home, his eyes keeping watchful guard while his previous thoughts over the impending trip to LA fell to a back burner.
The two men made themselves at home right away, sitting comfortably on Giles' couch after handshakes and an exchange of names, neither one making an immediate move to explain their presence in his home. All three sets of eyes were on Buffy as everyone became settled, each person waiting for her to give the explanation, though she appeared to be lost in deep thought, and completely oblivious to the world around her. Giles' alarm grew tenfold as he stared silently at his slayer; it wasn't like Buffy to not be alert in the company of strangers and he felt instinctively that something big was going on, something bigger then the impending mission to LA. The older gentleman, Chan, turned his gaze to Giles; his eyes holding a glint of amusement at somewhat awkward situation they had found themselves in.
"Mr. Giles, I must say it is wonderful to meet you. You're work with the slayer here on the Hellmouth have generated some pretty interesting stories for my colleagues and myself. You are to be commended for many a job well done, " The man said cordially though not without a hint of irony. If it was even remotely possible, Giles was even more curious then before about whom these men where and how exactly they had heard about him. A billion thoughts were running through his head and he didn't like were the direction was leading. The only thing that came to mind was that these men were from the Watchers Council, which was something he did not need to deal with right now, or ever, actually. Though to be fair he seriously doubted that Buffy would bring active council members to here of all places, animosity towards the council was one of the many things that he and Buffy shared with equal vengeance. Besides the fact that he doubted that the council would praise the work that he and Buffy had been doing here, especially since Buffy herself had quit the council rather abruptly about a year ago. None of these thoughts were answering his questions however, and Giles had to use every amount of willpower at his disposal to keep from drumming his fingers on the armrest of his chair to illustrate his impatience.
"I know you're curious as to who we are and why we're here so I'll cut right to the chase," Chan remarked as if sensing Giles' discomfort. "We are members of the organization of IROD, the Immortal Researchers of Demonology, and we are here to bring Buffy into the fold. Through many lengthy discussions and a close observation over her career these past few years it has been unanimously decided that she is to be the inductee from this century to join our little family," Chan announced matter-of-factly. His amusement growing even more as he observed the shock that took precedence over the former watchers features.
Giles' facial expression and body movements froze into a catatonic state as Buffy looked anxiously to the man she considered her father, blood or not. Although she didn't often admit it to his face, Giles' approval meant a great deal to her. He was the only strong male influence in her life that she had left, especially after being considerably neglected by her natural father and then thoroughly deserted by Angel. It was Giles who had always stuck by her side and it was Giles' wisdom that she needed now, as she had come to rely on so often throughout the course of their relationship. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go with the whole IROD thing but she knew that Giles' reaction to the matter would seriously weigh in whatever choice she decided to make.
Giles slowly came down from the initial surprise of this announcement, his mind gradually reminding his body that he did in fact have full use of his limbs and that he was capable of movement. Elation spread quickly through his system and a slow yet reassuring smile came quietly across his face. His eyes took on a shine of both pride and excitement as he turned towards his slayer. "This is a great honor Buffy and an excellent opportunity for you as well. I'm very proud," he said finally, all the while standing up and walking over to her to place a fatherly hand on her shoulder.
Any doubts that Buffy had about Giles having no previous knowledge of the organization of IROD flew out the window; it appeared that he not only knew of them but that he was also in full approval of her joining. The two members of IROD smiled hugely at the watcher's reaction, both relaxing visibly in their seats as they cast knowing glances in Buffy's direction, more confident then before that her final decision would lean more towards her joining than not. Buffy, however, remained silent during the course of this exchange, her expression unreadable. Her mind was working in overtime trying to weigh her options and even though she knew she had Giles' support in the matter she was still unsure of what she wanted to do, if anything. Buffy just sighed quietly to herself, her spirit tired, confused and uncertain. In the old days she would have run to Angel to talk over major decisions and to be held at just the right moments but now the thought of running into Angel while in LA provided little comfort, in fact it was beginning to terrify her. She just hoped she could make it through the weekend without getting a major ulcer.
"Mr. Giles," Talan was now saying as Buffy snapped out of her reverie, "It is our intent to accompany Buffy on this mission of hers to LA. As we told her earlier, it would be a great way of getting better acquainted with her and it also provides us with a chance see the slayer in action. Our studies of the slayers have been somewhat limited due to Council interference, this is our chance to see what we've been missing," he finished enthusiastically, his eyes conveying genuine excitement.
The mention of the trip to LA jolted Giles back into reality and out of the visions he was having of Buffy's bright future as a member of IROD. A feeling of dread washed over him as he remembered that he had a few things to discuss with Buffy about the trip, though the IROD members presence on the mission might be just what Buffy needed to keep her mind off of her sordid past with the vampire Angel. He saw no immediate reason as to why the IROD members couldn't accompany Buffy and so he simply nodded in their direction and then once again regarded his slayer.
"Buffy," Giles sighed out, as if what he was about to say was extremely painful, "I just got off the phone with the police in LA and it appears that the gentleman I told you to find to get the book from has been reported missing. I fear there may be more to this trip than we previously thought. I want you to see what you can find out while you are there and still try and find the book if you can. I'm sorry that this probably won't be as short a trip as you had originally planned," he said gently, his eyes working desperately to appraise her reaction.
Buffy could feel her heart start to race in response to Giles' news. It seemed her fears of running into Angel were now even more likely and her body wanted to scream out in agony over the unfairness of the whole situation. A picture of Angel came with clarity to her mind, his features strong and soft at the same time. It was the picture of the man that still had the power to haunt her dreams at night. She didn't think it was particularly fair that she should have to confront what once was and what wasn't anymore. Buffy would almost prefer to live in the dark than to see first hand what Angel's life was like without her in it. Still, the soft part of her, the part that would openly admit to still being in love with him, wondered curiously over how he was doing. Her body was racked with inner turmoil as feelings of hurt, anger, frustration, and fear conflicted with feelings of longing, love, and excitement.
"Are you going to be okay, Buffy?" Giles asked softly, his gaze trying to provide what comfort he could. Buffy closed her eyes and took in a deep breath and then gradually opened them again to look back at him. Slowly she nodded, her mind resolving itself to whatever fate had in store for her.
"I will be fine," she replied, hearing how tired her voice sounded.
"Are you sure?" Giles prodded gently, needing to be reassured by her that she was going to be okay.
"I will be fine," she repeated, trying to convince herself as well as him of her words.
"All right then," he replied after awhile, not exactly convinced but not knowing what else to do for her. "Willow and Xander are probably waiting for you. Do be safe, Buffy," he put in, his worry for her ever present.
"I will," she agreed quietly and then she turned to the two IROD members and motioned to them that it was time to leave. Both men watched the exchange between the slayer and watcher with eager interest, the underlying tones of the brief conversation evident to even an outside perspective. As the men stood from their seats on the couch and bid their farewell to Giles, each wondered what surprises lay in store for them on this trip.
Chapter 4:
The usually beautiful night sky grew more and more dank as Buffy and company approached the city. A combination of clouds and smog intercepted the light from the moon and stars above, causing the earth below to appear dark and foreboding with only the artificial lights from cars and buildings to break through the chilling blackness. Buffy thought the total effect of the sky strangely poetic, especially considering that her heart and her anxiety grew more and more heavy with every mile they grew closer to LA. The weather and her mood seemed to compliment each other and the whole irony of the matter was that what used to be considered home now lay before her as a proverbial city of doom. Her childhood in LA prior to her move to Sunnydale seemed as if it belonged to another lifetime, a lifetime without Hellmouth's or demons, weird curses and strange prophecies, a lifetime without the knowledge of Angel in it, as incomprehensible as that seemed to her. The problem lay in the fact that she wasn't sure which lifetime it was that she was better off, but she supposed that if she knew the answer to that one than she would have been able to give the IROD guys a more definite and much faster decision. At the moment it seemed as though she was drifting in an ocean of choices and hardships, not sure if she should reach for a life preserver and just float or if she should attempt to swim towards a distant shore.
Willow sat in the passengers' seat, her eyes worriedly appraising her bests friends face, knowing instinctively that Buffy was having a very hard time with everything that was going on in her life right now. She felt helpless to the fact that she didn't know what to do for her friend. She was so used to Buffy being the strong one, Buffy being the one to pick herself up and dust herself off. It was Buffy usually taking care of everyone else, not Buffy needing that care for herself. Willow often wondered what it would be like to be Buffy, to have the astronomical responsibilities and duties that she did, to be different from everyone else, separate. As hard as she tried to understand she knew that she could never fully grasp the whole concept of Buffy's existence. There was a part of Buffy that belonged to her and to Xander and to Giles, the human, companionable part of her, but there was another part of Buffy that belonged to something else entirely, something not always tangible, something larger and more profound than everyday existence. Despite her years of working closely with Buffy, she knew that no one other then those chosen to have fate thrust upon them in that manner could completely comprehend what life was like for Buffy.
The only person that had come close was Angel, the vampire with the tormented soul that was driven by the same, tragic force that Buffy was driven by. The man who was pushed into a world of demons without having a choice in the matter, different perhaps from Buffy's calling though not entirely dissimilar. The real tragedy of the whole situation was that when Angel had left Sunnydale, Buffy had not only lost her lover, she had lost the only person in her life that possessed the ability to understand her. In a sense she had lost the only one she could fully relate to and now Buffy was being forced into a situation in which she would have to ultimately confront that loss. An act that would take a remarkable amount of courage, even for a person as strong as Buffy was.
When Buffy had first come to pick Xander and her up that night, she had briefly explained the whole IROD thing, not going into any great detail but giving them enough information so they wouldn't need to question the presence of the two men on their trip. Willow's first response was to be upset at the whole prospect, she had wanted Buffy to grow old with her, not stay young and be the slayer forever. There were so many things she wanted to experience with Buffy. She wanted Buffy to be the aunt of her future kids and vice versa, she wanted to meet with Buffy for coffee at the age of fifty to have philosophical discussions about life, she wanted her friend for as long as she could have her. However, the longer she thought about it the more she started to rethink her opinion on the whole matter. Buffy didn't belong in that kind of world, she never would, and she never could. Buffy belonged with an organization like IROD, one that would ensure her survival, one that would surround her with a lifestyle that would encourage her instincts, and one that would accept and appreciate her for what she was and not what everyone else wanted her to be. Willow had finally, after four years, come to the inspired conclusion that Buffy was the slayer, tried and true, and she could never be anything else. She was just curious as to when Buffy would come to that same dawning realization.
Xander also felt the tension in the air; the silence taking place in the small car spoke more volumes than words ever could. He found the silence deafening, which made him extremely uncomfortable and he looked around to find something, anything, to bring up so that he could get a conversation going. His eyes silently fell on the car that was following behind them carrying the two IROD members. It was a beautiful car, a shinny, black, BMW convertible that positively glistened under the streetlights. He let out a small, appreciative whistle, an act that caused both girls to look back at him with curiosity.
"Hey Buff," he called out, keeping his tone as light as possible, "if you join this whole IROD club-from-hell will you get a car like that one? I'd demand it in my contract, its obvious that these guys have money, you could really bank from this," he said with a small smirk.
Buffy actually managed to give him a small smile as she gazed at Xander through the rear view mirror. "I don't know Xand, we didn't get far enough into detail to discuss the company car, we got stuck on the benefits package, select choice of weaponry, etc. You know that drill," she replied, appreciating the opportunity to mask her insecurities over the potential chance of running into Angel while in LA and over joining IROD. She was not in sharing mode at this point in time and she did not feel like talking about her inner most fears with her friends, this was just something she wanted to deal with herself. Willow, however, would have none of it and she just shook her head at both Xander and Buffy.
"Buffy," Willow said inquiringly, "are you seriously, I mean really seriously, considering joining IROD? I guess what I'm trying to ask is if you're leaning more towards joining then not," she finished with, her eyes kind yet sad at the same time.
Buffy sighed; trapped into the very situation she did not feel like dealing with at this present point in time. She wasn't any closer to having the answer to that question than she had been before, no surprise there, and she didn't expect to have the answer anytime soon at the rate she was going. Her thoughts had been consumed with nothing but IROD and Angel the whole night and she was beginning to get a headache as a result. She unconsciously gripped the steering wheel of her car tighter, causing her knuckles to go white and her eyes stared blindly at the road ahead, her mind working to determine how she should answer Willow's question. At last she decided to go with the honest answer and just hope that her friends would be satisfied with that and not probe any further.
"Yes I'm seriously considering it and no, I'm not sure if I'm leaning more towards joining then not. I'm not even sure of which direction I'm leaning; right now I'm kinda standing in a straight line that could go either way. I need more time. Giles supports me joining though; he acted like he majorly wants me to. He got a major happy when the IROD guys did their little spiel to him, you should have seen his face, it was priceless" Buffy replied, her fondness for Giles slipping through her otherwise uncertainly spoken words.
"Maybe he knows something that we don't about the organization," Willow responded thoughtfully. "I mean when Giles was a member of the Watchers Council I'm sure he had plenty of exposure to what IROD was about, especially if the council uses IROD's publications. If Giles supports you joining then they must be pretty respectable," Willow finished with, wishing the whole time that she was back at home on her computer where she could search the net for any information she could find on IROD.
Buffy bit her bottom lip, her eyes still watching the road ahead as the headlights from her car danced across the pavement. "That is the impression I got too," she said finally. "I mean Giles was majorly into it, he acted as if I had won the lottery or something. I have absolutely no doubts now that IROD is safe, but that really isn't my main concern. I just don't know if I want to do it. Giles reaction was reassuring, true, but this is just something that I'm going to have to decide to do myself," she finished with, high anxiety evident in her tone.
Xander remained silent during Willow and Buffy's exchange; his mind unable to move on from a single, disturbing thought that had popped up in his brain. "Buffy" he said questioningly, "you're not considering this whole immortality thing because of Angel, right? Its kinda obvious that we are most likely going to run into the guy on this stupid mission and I just hope you're not thinking of using this whole IROD thing to get back together with him. I mean, the man just left you without so much as a goodbye," Xander exclaimed, his position in the back seat enabling him from viewing the hurt expression that crossed Buffy's face as a result of his words.
Willow whipped around quickly to shoot a glare in Xander's direction. She and Xander had made a pact before the trip to not mention Angel unless they ran into him and now Xander had broken his promise and had hurt Buffy in the process, an act that was inexcusable. She could only rationalize Xander's behavior by knowing that neither Xander nor herself had known about IROD when the pact had been made. The tension in the car was now thick enough to cut with a knife. The subject that had been taboo around Buffy for a year now, the subject of Angel, had now been brought out into the open and both Willow and Xander were quiet as they waited for Buffy's response. Time seemed to get slower and slower as each minute passed by, and the silence in the car was nearly suffocating them. Buffy sat as still as a statue, her face locked in an expression of rage and inner turmoil.
At last she spoke, her voice barely controlled from expressing the full amount of anger and hurt she was experiencing. "As abstract as the idea may seem to you, I'm considering the whole IROD thing for me, not for anyone, and I do mean ANYONE else. And I definitely do not need to be reminded with the fact that Angel left me. Don't you think that is something that I've dealt with everyday since we graduated? I would never base a decision like that solely on another person, even if Angel and I were still together."
Buffy's eyes started to water by the weight of everything that she carried on her shoulders but she willed the tears not to fall as her eyes still kept forward on the road ahead. Both Xander and Willow looked abashed, their eyes locking on each other guiltily. It was Xander that decided to finally break the silence that followed Buffy's exclamation.
"I'm sorry Buff, I didn't mean to hurt you like that. My asking you that was uncalled for. I have complete faith in your decision, whatever you decide to do. I just don't want to loose you, that's all, but I know, even if we run into Angel, that everything will be all right. You'll be all right. I support you, I really do," he said in earnest, his voice void of his usual sarcasm. Buffy simply nodded in response, her body recovering from her little, minor, near breakdown. Willow relaxed once more in her seat, satisfied that everything at least temporally was back to normal. The lights from the city began to come into view from the car, in just a few minutes they were set to reach their destination.
"I called a Motel 6 here in LA before you came to get us, they said they had plenty of rooms. I have the directions written down if you want to crash right away," Willow claimed, relieved at the chance to bring up a new topic.
Buffy turned briefly from the road to look at her friend. "No, I want to go check out the book store that Charles Nedo disappeared from first. There might be clues left that the cops missed and we're more likely to find a demon poking around there now during night time then in the morning. I'm sure some have gone back to the store to make sure they've done a thorough job of covering everything up and I want to catch them in the act. Besides we might as well find Giles' book and get that out of the way first thing," Buffy said reasonably, almost completely recovered from her and Xander's emotional outbursts.
Xander immediately jumped at the opportunity to once again bring humor into the situation. "Well if we're pulling an all nighter do not expect to see me before noon tomorrow. Lack of sleep equals cranky Xander," he claimed jokingly.
"You must not get a lot of sleep then," Buffy couldn't resist saying and she laughed as she viewed the crestfallen expression that fell across his face as she said it. "Come on Xand, you have to admit that you deserved that one. In fact, we are almost, but not quite, even. I get one more crack at you before the trip is done to compensate for your previous, obnoxiously jealous behavior."
"Fine, fine," he replied with an exaggerated sigh, raising his hand in the air as if he where Julius Caesar addressing his murderous friends. "I'll let you have your fun at my expense, just go right on ahead. But I guess you wont believe me when I say that I hope Deadboy shows up toting a different girl on each arm," he said with a wicked gleam in his eye. At that both girls turned around to hit him and the city of LA dawned even closer to their view.
Chapter 5:
Angel waited impatiently as Cordelia slowly caught up to him, her plat form shoes plopping against the pavement, more then likely alerting any demon within a five mile radius that they were coming. After Cordelia had told him that Charles Nedo might have had a past association with the Watcher's Council he knew that they had to stake out the bookstore that the man had disappeared from. The reason the man was abducted was more then likely associated with some knowledge he had of an event or prophecy and Angel was more then willing to bet that the demons left some kind of paper trial leading to where they kept the man hidden. Or at the very least they had probably left some sort of clue as to what it was that they were after to have taken the man to begin with. Either way he wished Cordelia would move just a little more quickly, it was not as if they had all night.
"You know Cordelia, there are only a few more hours left till day time and I do have this little allergy to sunlight. Do you think that just maybe you can keep up?" Angel asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he stood watching her approach him with his arms crossed and his fingers drumming against the side of his arms.
"Well excuse me Mr. I-move-with-inhuman-speed. Men, you are all the same, vampire or not. I would like to see you keep up while walking in these shoes along side the wannabe marathon runner vampire," She shot back crankily, her feet killing her.
"Do you even own a pair of tennis shoes?" Angel asked, shaking his head, his annoyance turning to faint amusement as she clumped up to him in obvious pain.
"Oh, so now we're a fashion critic. Listen Mister; I get the information then you take care of the rest. I don't even know why you insisted I come along tonight anyway. I do have to work tomorrow, you know. Geesh, who do you think I am, Buffy? I now see exactly why you two were the perfect pair, despite the immortality thing that is. I bet she would have no problem accompanying you on these wonderful little excursions of yours," Cordelia said as she finally came to where he stood.
"No, she wouldn't have minded," he replied softly, his face a conflict of love and pain as he once again briefly allowed himself to conjure up the image of his one true love. He managed to smile a little at the thought that Buffy would have probably been the one leading the way with him trailing behind. Although she rarely admitted it, he knew that she had loved the thrill of the hunt almost as much as he did. It was in their nature, both of theirs, and they used to patrol together with gusto. God he missed that, having his partner in crime fight along his side with an equal force, two tornadoes weaving a destructive path through the demon under world. It was just one out of a long list of things that he missed about her, one of the things that made him ache inside for her company, though there were a great many other things that accomplished similar effects as well.
"God, Angel, I'm sorry," Cordelia said with concern after observing his face at her mention of Buffy. "I spoke without thinking."
"Don't worry about it," Angel assured her quietly, "and you're right, she was, is, my perfect match, with the exception of the whole immortality thing. That and the fact that she deserves the normal life that I couldn't possibly give her."
"Oh yeah, and its so normal to be out in the middle of the night hunting unsavory things. She's probably doing the same thing in Sunnydale that we are doing right now and you call that normal? Angel, I think you've been a vampire way too long, you're idea of a normal life is somewhat deluded. What Buffy has is not normal, trust me, its not. Not even close as a matter of fact," she said bluntly, crossing her own arms over her chest.
"Well, she has the chance now to follow her dreams and we have a job to do," Angel said, snapping back into his all work and no play mode, wanting to drop the subject for now. "We are almost at the bookstore, do you think you can manage to make it the rest of the way?"
"Gee, being facetious much? Yes, I can make it those few more steps, let's go," Cordelia replied, while visions of a hot bath and her own warm bed danced through her head. She just wanted to get this night over with.
The location the bookstore was odd at best. It was surrounded by factories, warehouses and office buildings in a somewhat industrial part of town. Compared to its surroundings it looked small and out of place, an easy target for anyone or thing looking for it. Both Angel and Cordelia approached the structure tentatively; the police tape still surrounded the building, marking it as a crime scene. The lights in the store were out and it appeared to be completely deserted, for now.
Angel easily snapped the lock of the doorknob, his ears straining to hear even the slightest sound. There were none. Slowly he stepped into the store, switching on the light switch, Cordelia following not far behind. Books and papers were scattered everywhere, the place looked as if it had been turned upside down. A desk sat in the corner of the store, its drawers all pulled out and turned over. The computer on the desk was the only remained that in tack, an unfinished cup of coffee sat next to it.
"If there wasn't a doubt before, I'd say this guy was definitely taken against his will," Cordelia stated as she observed her surroundings.
"Yeah, I'm getting that impression too," Angel replied in one of his rare moments of humor. "Unless of course the guy just doesn't appreciate the fine art of filing."
"Oh gee, you're funny," Cordelia said with a smirk. "So, what are we looking for exactly?"
"Clues," Angel remarked distractedly, his own eyes scanning the room wondering where to start. "You take that end, I'll take this one and we'll meet in the middle."
"Yes, sir!"
Angel slowly started to blaze a trail through the battle zone when a sound coming from outside the store stopped him in his tracks. It was the sound of two cars pulling up to the building and stopping. Car doors were then opened and shut and he could barely make out voices whispering in the dark. Cordelia stopped dead in her tracks and looked to Angel, her eyes wide. She lifted her shoulders as if to ask, 'what do we do' and Angel just motioned for her to stay still, his hand reaching inside his jacket to pull out his dagger and a stake.
Light foot steps were coming closer and closer to the building and Angel felt a familiar sensation crawl up his system, one that his mind couldn't place right away. His mind reached out, searching for the answer, his heart rate starting to increase. He watched as the door knob slowly turned, the lock putting up no resistance seeing as how he had already broken it. The door squeaked on its hinges as it opened, moving even slower than the doorknob did to turn. Whoever was on the other side was also being extremely cautious.
Angel felt the blood start to run more quickly through his veins and a steady, warm, tingling sensation made its way through his system, as he finally placed where he had felt this all encompassing feeling before. It was the response he got around her, his love, his little, lost slayer. One that he only got aroundÖÖÖÖ.Buffy.
Both Angel and Cordelia gasped as she stood in front of them in golden splendor, Xander, Willow, and two unrecognizable men standing behind her. Buffy's own face was a contortion of emotion, a mixture of love, fear, surprise and tragedy glowing off of her skin and eyes in a breath taking mixture of forlorn beauty. Shock was also extremely apparent on her small face.
The world stopped dead on its axis, and an extremely eerie silence took fold over the night. Two heartbeats that could be heard above all the others were the only sound that echoed through the room, each strong and steady and loud. Angel felt dizzy, his arms desperately longing to move to take her in his embrace. He felt as though he was being sucked lovingly and willingly into the very place that separated heaven from earth. The place where all lovers went, separate from the outside world. That top of Olympus, that castle in the sky, the place where stars and whole worlds were created. A force more strong and powerful than anything else in the universe was at work, the force that only existed when two soul mates became confronted with each other. The soft, loving, brown eyes of a vampire met the tear filled, hazel eyes of the slayer and all was lost. Their tragic history briefly forgotten as they both basked in the company of each other for the first time in over a year, their very souls bared to each other as Buffy drowned in her lover's eyes.
Chapter 6:
Not the slightest sound could be heard inside or outside of the small bookstore as Buffy and Angel's eyes remained locked on one another. Gone were their surroundings, the other people in the room, the outside world, all that existed for them in that moment was each other. Words were not needed to convey the intensity of the emotion in the reunion, their eyes, the window into the soul, spoke volumes. They spoke of love and pain, hunger and sadness, longing and frustration, as well as worship and despair.
The air around them cackled with the positive and negative energy of tragedy and devotion, both powers working persistently to dominate over the other. Angel's legendary walls came crashing forcefully down under the tear filled gaze of the slayer, the onset of such strong emotion flooding his body like a baptismal awakening. He briefly closed his eyes in a vain attempt to stop the shaking that raked his system from the strong force of the emotion. Buffy's own body raged a fierce war, her instincts screaming for her to throw herself into his embrace while her mind remembered months of tears and agony over his departure from her life. The strength of old wounds and damaged psyche kept them from reaching for each other, but a love, true and powerful, made sure that they didn't turn away, their bond too strong to be ignored.
The others in the room watched silently, each person waiting for a scene to unfold. None did. Gradually both Buffy and Angel came down from their cloud, the dense fog that only allowed them to see only each other lifted. Buffy was first to tare her eyes away, her mind working desperately to regain control of her limbs. Her arms and legs refused to move, they felt as if heavy objects had been laying on them for an extended period of time only to have the blood rush back in force and cause them to tingle. She found herself unable to speak, not currently possessing the capability to find the right things to say. 'Hello' seemed too weak and common but pride and hurt kept her from thinking of anything more meaningful to great him with. Dizziness welled its way up inside her as the shock of seeing Angel face to face started to lesson its hold over her system.
Angel was having a harder time then Buffy did to look away. For many months he had only seen her in his mind, his memories of her light and vibrancy had became a permanent imprint in his brain and now the real thing stood in front of him, barely an arms length away. He was having a hard time differentiating between the sight before him and his own memory. The images contorted together as one large and precious piece of art. His mind had to fight to adjust to the fact that what had only been a dream the past year was now living and breathing in front of him. Her very presence touched his soul in a way that nothing else ever could or would and he longed to gather her in his embrace and squeeze as hard as he could. Only the nagging voice in the back of his head stopped him from doing so, that annoying voice of reason that had to remind him that it could never be.
Cordelia and Xander were becoming increasing ill at ease with the silence and electricity in the room, but the two IROD members as well as Willow watched with undeterred attention, each more then mildly curious as to the current situation of the two ex-lovers. It was Cordelia that finally decided to break the silence.
"Leave it to you losers to crash a party. What's wrong guys? Sunnydale fresh out of demons so you had to come here to look for some?" She asked, more out of being uncomfortable then actually teasing. She had grown up a lot since high school.
Xander looked at his ex-love appreciatively before he responded with a snort. "No way, we just thought you two could use all the help you could get, you know, with the both of you being so inept and all."
"Whatever," Cordelia responded with a roll of her eyes, their mission accomplished. The little exchange between the two of them was enough to snap Buffy and Angel's audience out of their alternate universe. The outside world came crashing down and everyone in the room had to blink in reaction to the pull of reality.
"Buffy," Angel finally managed to say, her name ringing like a song from his lips; a poem flocked with meaning. Buffy just nodded her own greeting, not quite ready to speak just yet, still unable to find the right words. Angel nodded back and then turned his attention to the two men standing to the side of his love, the ones that he did not recognize.
"Who are you?" He asked quietly, hoping with all his heart that the younger looking one was not a new boyfriend of Buffy's.
The two men smiled knowingly at Angel, an act that put him on edge. They looked as if they knew him or had at least heard of him and he knew for certainty that he would have remembered if he had ever met them before. The feeling he got from them was uncanny, it was as if they had talked about him behind his back and had full knowledge of his whole life story. It wasn't necessarily a negative feeling, but it was enough to make him uncomfortable, as if being around Buffy wasn't already enough to drive him to distraction.
The younger man was the first to speak. "I am Talan and this is ChanÖÖÖÖÖ" he started but he was interrupted before he could finish his statement.
"We are representatives from the organization of IROD. We have come to invite Buffy into our ranks as this centuries' inductee," Buffy, Xander, and Willow all said in unison, completing the phrase for Talan.
Chan laughed at his friends perplexed expression. "We must be getting predictable in our old age," he remarked with a flair, his eyes twinkling. He mentally added one more point to the slayers rapidly growing scorecard. Humor was a trait that was important to any IROD member. Immortality tended to cause people to get far too serious and Buffy's wit would be more then a welcomed addition to their little family.
Angel's eyes once again snapped to Buffy's face, his eyes portraying his shock over the announcement. It was obvious to everyone that he too had heard of IROD. Angel's undead heart began to climb at an astronomical rate, causing him to get slightly delirious. His mind grasped and held onto one thought, 'Buffy had been offered the chance to become immortal.'
His eyes searched desperately over her face to try and gage her reaction to the IROD invitation, but Buffy's face was a blank page. She was unwilling to give anything away to the man who had broke her heart so thoroughly. They used to have a connection, an empathic link that gave them the capability to understand what the other was feeling and Angel secretly prayed that staring at her long enough would reconnect their minds to one another. He had to know where she stood on this; it had become the most important thing to him within the space of seconds after hearing the news.
Cordelia looked at the two men with idle curiosity, wondering what in the world Buffy had gotten herself into now. "And IROD is what exactly?"
"IROD stands for Immortal Researchers of Demonology," Chan interjected, watching a realization take form in the pretty brunette's eyes. Cordelia turned sharply to Angel, her mind scheming to formulate a quiet plan. She recognized the rare opportunity to grant two of her friends' happiness and she took it head on, knowing someone had to bring up the necklace to Buffy.
"Isn't it funny that you found a way to keep your soul and Buffy found a way to become immortal? Fate can be so ironic at times, right Angel?" She asked in a sing-songy voice, pleased when Buffy's eye's snapped towards Angel in the same way that his had to hers not two minutes earlier.
"You get to keep your soul?!" Willow squeaked, unable to control her excitement at the news, "That's great! How?"
All eyes were now on Angel as everyone waited for his answer to Willow's questions. His gaze still locked on Buffy, Angel reached under his shirt through the collar and brought out his necklace. The small orb glistened under the lights of the room, and all occupants knew what it was immediately.
"It catches the soul," he explained softly, once again searching Buffy's face for a reaction. "It then puts it back into my body before the demon can take control."
Angel felt as light as a feather, a tremendous weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Buffy knew. He had dreamed of telling her since receiving the necklace and she now knew, the rest was up to her.
Buffy felt all her breath leave her body as she stood still in silence. An uncontrollable anger welled up tightly through her system. 'He didn't tell me until now, when forced into it' was all she could think to herself. They had been through so much when Angel had lost his soul the first time, so much when they had tried so hard to stay away from each other when he had returned from hell a broken man in need of her help. It enraged her to think that he hadn't even thought enough about their past to at least give her this little bit of information, relationship or no relationship. The rational part of her understood that they were no longer a couple and that Angel had probably kept the necklace a secret so as not to reopen old wounds and false possibilities but the hurt part of her clung to the resentment of him not telling her right away. She took it as a sign that he no longer cared for her, even though her heart willingly read otherwise in his love filled gaze. The room closed in around her, causing her to get slightly claustrophobic and she knew she had to leave, to run, to get away from here and him. Her pain was becoming almost imbarible.
"I need some air," she mumbled quickly, escaping out of the bookstore with a speed notable to only a slayer. Everyone else in the room looked shocked at the slayer's rather hasty retreat but the vampire Angel stood with his own heart breaking. He knew right away what she was thinking and he couldn't help but feel that he had brought it on himself, as if he were deserving of her anger somehow. He moved to follow her out into the night while the others looked at one another questionably.
"Let's follow them," Xander said frustratingly, upset at the thought of Angel and Buffy being alone together.
"Let's not," Cordelia responded sharply, her eyes narrowing to slits. "They need to work this out between the two of them with no input from you. This isn't your problem, Xander."
"I know," he said with a sigh, "I just don't want to see her hurt by him again."
Chapter 7:
Buffy was walking as fast as she could without the action being misconstrued as running. In the dead of the night she made her hasty retreat, escaping from both the haunting ghosts of the past and the frightening confrontations of the future. Somewhere off in the distance a siren was heard, a dog was barking and light footsteps were following in Buffy's direction. Buffy knew in clear and certain terms that Angel was following her. She felt his presence surrounding her in her plight, like she had sensed him that first night they had met in Sunnydale all those years ago, but unlike four or so years ago she no longer was the fresh faced teenager who had never had her heart broken. Gone was naive and innocent sixteen-year-old girl and in its place was the hurt and confused woman, walking to escape the only man she would ever truly love. She kept her eyes forward, refusing to turn around and look in his direction, holding on to the wild hope that if she didn't look back at him, he wouldn't be there, following her, willing her to turn around and look into his beautiful, soul-filled brown eyes.
Fear, hurt and anger pushed her forward, continuing in her escape, never turning back. She picked up her pace a little bit, the sound of her shoes making contact with the pavement echoing into the night. Angel continued to follow her at a distance, picking up his own pace, yet not closing the distance between them. He knew in his heart that Buffy would turn around when she was ready, but he wouldn't push her for he didn't want to risk her actually fleeing from him. The minutes ticked by flawlessly as they continued their jog, Buffy leading the way without being sure of which direction she was going. Finally she came to a stop, unknowingly ending up at the graveyard where it all started. It was the place she had killed her first vampire that night that seemed like a lifetime ago, that fateful night when at the age of fifteen she had been called as slayer.
There was irony in this situation that did not escape Angel. He had watched Buffy that night when she was new to the hellish world of demons. He had watched as monsters had begun to infiltrate her world and now they had come full circle, back to where it had all begun. Ironic still was the fact that Angel's apartment was across the street from this very graveyard, the place he had moved to as a constant reminder to why he kept up the fight against evil. As morbid as it had seemed to Cordelia, Angel had picked the place in an attempt to keep Buffy close to him despite their distance. It was his way of remembering the innocent and beautiful young girl who had made the ultimate sacrifice in this very graveyard and had given up her youth in exchange for the safety of mankind. She had stayed etched like that in his mind, his wonderfully brave and selfless slayer, the same girl who stood before him now, hidden behind walls of pain.
For awhile she stood with her back facing towards him, her attention drawn to a tombstone that laid nestled in the ground. The night was silent around them; it was as if everything kept quiet in order to hear the forthcoming exchange between the two lovers. A small gush of wind came and ruffled Buffy's hair, and she closed her eyes to the passing wind, a single tear making its slow track down her cheek. Finally she looked up and glanced at the moon, its white brilliance silently feeding her the energy to speak to the man who had taken possession of her heart and had never given it back. Small memories of conversations past filtered quietly through her mind.
Angel's face when he had first told her about his curse... 'Romany. Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul.'
The ghost of Ms. Calender as she had whispered out the cause of Angel's return to evil three years ago...' The curse. If Angel achieved true happiness, even just a moment of... He would lose his soul.'
Angel's face again, filled with pain, as he made the ultimate sacrifice and had let her go... '(You deserve) Someone who can make love to you.'
All that pain, all that suffering. Friends dead and gone, the people close to her hurt and suffering. Three years of courtship had passed between them, the very peak of heaven, and the very brink of hell. During that time she had taken his soul and given it back. She had killed him and she had brought him back to life. She had loved and she had lost, and he didn't see the need in telling her he had found away to keep his soul without the restrictions of a clause. She finally found her voice, her tone coming out blunt, devoid of emotion, her back still facing him.
"Why didn't you tell me you found away to keep your soul? Don't you think I at least deserved to know that? After everything that happened, after everything we went through? You could have at least told Giles if you didn't want to speak to me, he also deserved to know," she said, once again looking to the moon for support.
Angel could feel his own eyes start to tear. He felt the weight of the past come crashing down on him, causing his heart to stop, pause, then come rushing back to life at an increasingly urgent speed. He knew she was right, he knew had she deserved to know. They had all deserved to know, especially after everything they had been through, but the truth of the matter was that then, like now, he had wanted to protect Buffy from himself. He loved her so much, so much that it hurt, and if she had found out about the necklace and if she had still loved him, he knew he would not have had the resolve to stay away. He didn't know what to say to her, he didn't know how to make her understand. He had done it for her, done it so she could have a semi-normal life, though now it appeared as if Buffy's destiny was patterned into the demon world, the invitation of IROD a calling as surely as the call of the slayer had been one. Fate, in its wonderfully blessed form, was finally showing Angel that he could no longer deny his place by Buffy's side, but to gain that bliss he had to help her recover from the hurt that he had caused. He just prayed that they both could find a way to heal.
"You're right," he said, his voice cracking. "You did deserve to know and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Buffy. I wanted the world for you. I wanted you to have the life that I never could. I wanted you to laugh and to cry, to have children and to watch them grow. I wanted you to watch the sun rise and set each passing day, your heart filled with wonder and awe. I wanted you to burn brightly for the two of us, enjoying all the precious gifts that life has to offer."
"How could you think that that would ever happen?" she asked earnestly, turning around to face him. " I'm the slayer, Angel. Even if I wasn't, even if by some disastrous event that my slaying powers were once again taken away from me, I could never be that person that you want me to be. I've seen too much, I've lived too much. I fight monsters, Angel, that's what I do, and although I hate it at times I can not be anything different," her voice came out high and heartfelt, the tears openly rushing down her face.
Angel's own cheeks were covered in tears, his heart pounding loudly to his ears. He felt a sharp pain cut through his chest at the sight she made standing before him in agonizing pain. It was the ultimate torture to see her suffer, he would gladly give his own life if it meant that she would never have to feel such pain again. It seemed almost impossible to love another person as much and as fully as he loved Buffy, he had suffered the fiery pits of hell and he would do it again if it meant she would be able to find happiness.
"I was hoping that even with you being the slayer that you would still be able to have a life. I thought that I was holding you back. That I was keeping you from having a normal relationship. I didn't want you to grow to resent me," he said honestly, hoping against hope that she would understand.
Buffy looked shocked by his words. "How could I have resented you if you had stayed? Couldn't you see that I loved you? That I would have been happy just to have you with me? I tried normal and you know what happened? Do you, Angel?" She asked in a rush, afraid of breaking down right there on the spot. "I'll tell you what happened, he died, some vampires killed him because of me. And he probably died with the knowledge that I didn't love him. Died with the knowledge that I couldn't love him because I'm still in love with you."
Lightening stuck Angel, his body and mind whirling in a pit of blackness. Loud sobs racked his system, and he cried in a way he hadn't cried since he was a human child. Big tears splashed down his face as a result of mind numbing pain, his body racked with sorrow over the terrible hurt that she had been through. It wasn't fair; it wasn't fair that she had had to live through that. It wasn't fair that she had had to feel responsible for someone's death, a pain he was all too familiar with. He didn't deserve her love, didn't deserve the heart of the being that was more precious and sacred then anything else in existence. Both the lovers cried freely and openly, time distancing itself between their combined agony.
Buffy was first to collect herself; actually feeling somewhat relieved to get all of those things out. Some of the weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She looked over at Angel, watching him as his own tears slowed, and she felt her heart slip into her eyes. Despite everything that had happened between them, she loved him still, she would always love him. Gingerly she made her way over to where he stood, not thinking with her head but thinking with her heart. She slowly placed a hand on his shoulder and Angel's eyes rushed to her face as she made that contact.
The world stopped, then continued in slow motion. Clouds of fog lifted to show a sparkling world of wonder. The trees and shapes around them became hazy and unreal. The only clear things in existence were the faces and bodies of each other and the tingling sensations that spread through their bodies where they touched. Slowly Angel's face moved towards Buffy's and Buffy watched and held her breath as his lips came closer and closer to hers. In absolute giddy anticipation they moved through the boundaries of separation, their bodies coming truly alive with the promise of full contact. At long last their lips met and the universe sang in rejoice.
Chapter 8:
A timeless symphony released a soft melody into the wind as two souls came home to each other's embrace for the first time in over a year. They were locked into the tight clutch of passion, their bodies touching each others in every place that was remotely possible, their arms tightly and strongly clinging to each other, afraid to let go in fear that it was a just a dream and they wake up all alone. Every part and fold, fabric or skin, that came in contact between the two lovers tingled with pleasurable sensation, sending an electrical current racing wildly and free through out their bodies. Both Buffy and Angel felt an awareness overcome them and take possession of their souls. For the first time in a long time they felt alive. It was as if they had previously been roaming the earth without being aware of true living, and now with a loving touch and caress, they were awake, wide eyed and wondering, discovering a world that belonged solely to the two of them. >From the center of the universe a small gust of wind swelled up, surrounding the two of them like a blanket, offering protection against the outside world. Pain was put aside, history receded into an unknown place, and the only thing that existed was love: pure, true, and powerful, unbreakable by any force on this earth or beyond.
Their lips locked and held on each other's in heated desperation. The strength of the hold that was used between the vampire and the slayer would have killed any mere mortal who attempted to try it. Both were trying to virtually pull the other into each of their bodies, wanting to unite and become one. Their bodies seemingly flowed together like two practiced dancers in a rehearsed ballet, energy flowing off one and into the other, and then flowing back. They stood like that for an eternity, bathed in moonlight, surrounded by the fresh sent of night air and roses, baring their souls and finding unity. Both Buffy and Angel glowed under the starry sky, their skin shinny and light, letting off a light spark into the darkness of night.
Kissing quickly grew more and more fervent, the pull and passion becoming almost unbearable in it's intensity, and a powerful need, stronger then any pull known to mankind, took control of their bodies and their minds. Angel lifted Buffy up off of the ground, her feet lifting just a foot or two from its surface, her body still pressed tightly against his. He walked towards his apartment using every sense available to him but sight, for his eyes were locked onto Buffy's. The dark pupils grew to encompass his whole eye in response to the anticipation his body was experiencing for the need and the wanting of the beautiful woman he held in his arms.
Drowning desperately in each other's gazes, Angel quickened his stride to his apartment, visions of their future union dancing clearly in both of their brains. Although the distance between Angel's apartment and the graveyard was short, not even a block, it seemed as if it were miles, for any space of time was too long for the two people who wanted each other so desperately and had gone too long without. Both Buffy and Angel were ready to jump out of their skin with longing and with need. Nothing else in the world could touch them; it was impossible for even the threat of the most vicious demon to impose into their world, for Buffy saw only Angel and Angel saw only Buffy. Finally they made it to Angel's apartment, Angel still holding Buffy with one arm while he struggled to find his keys in his pocket with the other. Finally he gave up, and in his anxiousness he tore through the lock, not caring, not minding, the only thing in this universe or beyond that mattered to him was becoming one, becoming complete, with the woman his soul cried out for, his Buffy.
Once inside the door, Buffy wrapped her legs around Angel's waist and she kissed him with all the pent up longing, uncontrollable love and driving need that she felt. Angel grew increasingly dizzy in the rushing and consuming power of Buffy's kiss, his feet stumbling to the bed that he finally reached only to allow himself to fall onto it, Buffy still locked in his embrace. Buffy moaned softly from somewhere very deep within herself, her body reaching even higher levels of awareness as she lay covered by Angel's body. Little lights started to sparkle in her eyes and the feeling of Angel on top of her caused any cognitive thinking to stop, her brain reverting control to the driving primal need that cursed through out her system.
Angel too was drowning; his body swept up in a tidal wave, the sensations rocking his body, taking complete control of his mind and his instinct. The world became a blur to him, his longing for Buffy grew to astronomical proportions, and, fully clothed, he began to thrust against her, his body moving on its own accord. Buffy gasped loudly, the lights sparkling in her eyes growing more intense, and the world had began to spin so unbelievably fast, sweeping them both up in its whirlwind of gravitational pull. In desperation Angel continued to thrust hardly into Buffy, Buffy meeting his thrusts with equal force. A growl resounded from Angel's throat, and his vampire visage crumbled over his features, his usually yellow-vampire eyes turning more of a dark orange due the uncontrollable passion that both his soul and his demon were experiencing. He placed one of his hands close to Buffy's head on the bed, using it to prop himself up, with the other he tore viciously at Buffy's shirt, shredding the garment, his need driving him to do the same with her bra. Buffy couldn't have cared less about what he was doing to her clothing, all she wanted was him, all she needed was him, now and always. She arched her chest up in his direction, instinctively wanting to help him out. At last she lay with her chest and her beautiful creamy breasts exposed to him, and the vampire known as Angel began to cry.
Her sheer beauty astounded him. The experience of seeing her laying beneath him, her chest exposed to his vision, her eyes looking on him with unconditional love and longing was perhaps the most profound moment he had ever experienced, his deep love for her causing the tears to form out of total and confounding worship. Buffy reached up and gently brushed the tears away with the soft caress of her fingertips, the palm of her hand coming to rest against his cheek to pull his head down to another powerful kiss. She didn't care that his game face was exposed, she didn't see it, all she saw was his soul, totally and completely exposed to her, showing her through its brightness that he loved her above all else. Their lips met once more and once again they were swept away.
Angel's hands moved wildly over Buffy's body, it was as if he couldn't get enough of touching her, feeling her and that he was trying to commit a lasting imprint of every square inch of her body to his brain through his touch. His fingers touched her breasts and moved to her nipples, swirling around them, cupping them, before trailing his finger tips down her stomach, making a swirling pattern around her belly button before moving lower. Buffy moaned and thrashed beneath him, her body arching towards him in wild abandonment. Blind to anything but fulfillment, Angel clumsily messed with the button of Buffy's pants, finally getting them undone, tearing the zipper apart and getting up slightly to force her pants off of her legs. Her shoes and underwear came off in the fury Angel was using to pull down her pants, and Angel looked up after completing his task and he felt his heart jump from his chest into his throat. The girl of his many visions lie naked on his bed, the one girl in all the universe that was his perfect match, the one girl he loved more then life, death or anything in between.
Once again the tears started to fall down his cheeks, she was so beautiful lying there. Her blonde hair spilled like rich gold across his pillow, her skin shinning like healthy alabaster marble, her lips softly moaning for him to continue his pursuit of her, her hazel eyes dark with want. Her hands were desperately grasping handfuls of bed comforters and blankets; it was as if she needed to have an anchor to earth to keep her from floating away. Moved beyond speech and thought, Angel slowly began to take off his own clothes while she watched on in unbearable anticipation. He unbuttoned each button of his shirt one by one, the shirt slowly opening to reveal columns of hard muscle of a chest that would have sculptures going mad trying to capture is magnificence. At last the shirt was completely opened, it fell lightly off of his shoulders and down his arms where he shrugged it the rest of the way off. Buffy inhaled a deep breath as she watched Angel tackle his pants, the room spinning wildly out of control. Slowly Angel's pants came down, and Buffy's eyes grew wide and huge, her gaze looking up to his filled with wonderment and blind need. Slowly she lifted her arms up signaling him to come back into her waiting embrace.
Angel once again fell on top of Buffy, the silky feeling of naked flesh to naked flesh causing both of them to cry out in pleasurable pain; pleasure from the contact, pain from the need. Angel lifted his chest up just a little to gaze into Buffy's eyes, his elbows holding him up. Gently he reached up and pushed her hair away from her face as Buffy arched against in him silent demand. Angel bent down and buried his face in her hair and nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck. He breathed her scent in deeply, becoming drunk on its intoxicating aroma. Buffy moved her arms to circle him around his back; she clutched him tightly to her, never wanting to let go. Keeping his face in buried in her hair, Angel positioned himself to finally become one, body and soul, with his soul mate. As he thrust forward both he and Buffy finally sunk entirely below the surface of an ocean of feeling, their minds spiraling to the place that lovers went when true, pure, and complete ecstasy was finally reached after lifetimes of searching.
They both began to thrust wildly and hardly into each other, virtually crashing against each other with a force strong enough to cause an earthquake. Everything was spinning round and round, and neither Buffy nor Angel could concentrate on any one thing other then the force that drove them forward. The moans, groans and gasps coming from each of their mouths echoed throughout the room, mixed in with the loud hum of both of their hearts as they pounded wildly in their chests. The sensation was becoming all encompassing, threatening to push them over the edge and send them twirling to the place where creation was started. Hard, fast, and powerful, they moved with inhuman strength, pushing, and pulling, each desperately clinging to the other as they reached the ultimate high. A bright light flashed into the night, surrounding them with white. Their bodies felt electric, and light, touched by all four elements of earth, air, fire and water. Red, blue and green colors twinkled in their vision as an aftermath, and their hearts almost stilled completely in the intensity of climax, both of them reaching the same point together, partners in every aspect of their coupling, partners for eternity. Slowly the light receded to blackness and both beings gave into tired exhaustion, still locked into a tight embrace they allowed the darkness to overcome their consciousness and they slipped quietly into a dreamless sleep.
*****
Buffy awoke in a blind panic. At first she was not sure of where she was or why she was so scared. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, and her eyes felt dry and wide as she stared at the shadows that covered the ceiling in Angel's apartment. Her mind finally reached through its fog and grasped at its horror, her memory of her and Angel making love for the second time filling her with combined warmth and terror. For the first time in a long time she was truly frightened, the impact of what she and Angel had done dawning in her mind. Her stomach felt queasy at the stress of her realization of what she had allowed to happen and she had to fight to keep herself from passing out for the world seemed to be passing by her in a dizzying rush. She had told Angel she still loved him, she had gone willingly to his arms and his bed, she had all but given her heart to him again on a silver platter. The man who had left her, the man she had spent a year without, was lying next to her sleeping, oblivious to her anxiety. Her mind recalled in vivid detail their recent conversation in the graveyard, but it wasn't enough to calm her. The truth of the matter was that she had allowed Angel free access once again into her heart, setting herself up for more agonizing pain should he decide once more that he shouldn't be a part of her life. She continued to fight the voices in her head, because they had moved beyond the graveyard discussion and had moved further back unto another conversation she had had with Angel.
//You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness...//
//All the more reason you should have a real relationship instead of this...This freakshow.//
//I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart.//
Her own, sad and desperate voice flashed into her mind, making her nauseous. //I want my life to be with you.//
And Angel's response had cut to her very soul. //I don't.//
Their exchange in the graveyard prior to their making love trickled into the conversation she was remembering of their break up, creating a mass confusion in her brain. She quickly leapt from the bed, needing to escape from these thoughts, needing to calm down. Their lovemaking had been so beautiful, so powerful, and so profound but she didn't know in the long run what exactly it would mean. She and Angel had declared their undying love for each other before and he had still left her. She had learned a long time ago that all the love in the world did not come with any guarantees. Her heart rate refused to slow down. The face of Angel breaking up with her and the face of Angel explaining his reasoning just hours before in the graveyard mingled together into one blurry vision in her mind. Buffy came up to rest her forehead against the wall of Angel's apartment, her palms lying flat against its surface, her eyes closed. The minutes ticked by flawlessly as she stood there shaking, Angel sleeping soundly on the bed.
At last her body began to calm itself from its panic-stricken state and the sound of thrashing on the bed drew her attention away from the wall. Angel was groaning and his hands were clutching at his sides in white knuckled strength. At first frightened that something terribly wrong was going to happen, Buffy stood in shock, her mind not letting her body move, her own concerns for her own well being taking an immediate second to her instant concern for Angel. The small orb laying against Angel's chest grew bright white, then red and then went back to its original, clear as glass, opaque color. The realization of what she had just witnessed sent a whole new kind of swell into her heart.
Angel's soul had been lost, captured and then sent back to where it belonged, his body once again settling down as he mumbled her name softly in his sleep. Her one and only love had once again experienced a moment of true happiness in her arms, a thought that in its self was profound. The ability to make someone truly happy was a gift that not many were offered the chance to give in the fast paced world that they lived in, but the event held even more meaning then the obvious for it offered hope. The fact that his soul would be there when he woke up, although important, took a blinding second to the knowledge that she had once again made him happy. Buffy sank down to the floor, her back against the wall, her knees brought up to her chest as she hugged them to her. She watched Angel as he slept through the ending of the night and the dawning of the morning, his sleep uninterrupted except for the occasional sound of his voice whispering loving things of her. The world seemed peaceful and mellow but Buffy was not at rest, a million thoughts coursing their way through her mind.
Chapter 9:
For hours Buffy sat patiently watching Angel sleep, watching with both a heart warming and longing interest as the shadows in the room danced across his face and chest. He looked so beautiful lying there lost to the waking world, probably the most peaceful she'd ever seen him. He looked like an ordinary man, one that did not have to wake up and fight constantly for his life, one that didn't have to live off of blood and darkness, and one that didn't have to struggle constantly to keep his soul. His bare arms and chest peaked out from beneath the covers, showing his shinny, healthy skin and his well-muscled and proportioned frame. She longed with an almost painful ache to simply run her hands over him, not in a sexual way but an exploring way, like the way a child in a museum would feel the urge to touch a beautiful and timeless piece of art.
God how she loved him. She loved everything about him. His big heart, his expressive eyes, his protectiveness over the people close to him, his acceptance and tolerance of things earthly and some things not, his knowledge of people and the world, and the way he made her feel beautiful and special by simply giving her a look. Her presence in his company again only served to remind her about how deep her feelings for him actually where and it frightened her to no end. Being with him was like being complete, it was a light that shone to its brightest, a wondering and mystical force of nature. He complimented her as she did him, each giving and receiving in perfect balance, both simple and complicated at the same time. But he had left her.
She knew why he had done it; she had even understood why he had done it. She had explored his reasons for leaving her over and over again in her head, but knowing and feeling were two entirely different things. Her heart had often wondered how he could have possibly walked away from what they had had. The intensity of their relationship had always been there, sweltering, threatening to consume them both but it had been strong, and powerful, something that couldn't possibly be denied, at least on her part. She would never have been able to walk away from Angel the way he did her. She had tried it before, remembering the days after he returned from hell when they had tried to keep their relationship platonic. It didn't work then, it wouldn't work now, they were meant to be in love, no other fate lay in store for them. She had fallen hard and desperately for Angel all those years ago and there was no going back, she couldn't take back the heart she had given away.
But he had left her. He had found the strength to deny their bond and leave her and Sunnydale behind. The reasons why he left were not the issue; it was the fact that he had been able to do it that scared her. He had found away to keep his curse, she had found a way to become immortal, but what reassurance did she really have that Angel would stick by her side if something else came up in which he took it upon himself to decide that he was holding her back. She didn't deny that he loved her, she knew in clear, and certain terms that he did but she didn't know if she could trust him again with her heart and soul, she didn't know if she could trust him to stay. The thought of going through the sheer torment and strong aching pain of having him leave her again did not seem all that appealing, in fact she would rather burn in hell then suffer through that total and complete agony.
And then there was IROD. Buffy knew a large part of what motivated Angel opening up to her last night was due to the fact that her mortality might no longer be an issue. For all he knew she had already decided to join IROD, they hadn't really had time to discuss otherwise. He probably thought that by her choosing the option of IROD then she had decided for herself to be immersed in a world of demons for eternity and if that was the case then he would no longer be holding her back from what he considered her other option of a 'normal life.' However, that wasn't really the case. The thought of joining IROD scared her as much as getting back together with Angel did. She didn't want to be alone in her slaying. She was used to the unbending support of Giles, the encouragement of Willow and the humor of Xander, take that all away and it would be just her, struggling to survive in a world that was constantly life threatening. Slaying was her life, sometimes she loved it, sometimes she hated it, but the thought of doing it for eternity without the love and support of the only people who had always stuck by her was almost incomprehensible to her. She used to believe that Angel would always be by her side, helping her, saving her, but he had dashed that hope long ago, leaving her by herself to decipher her own fate.
Buffy knew that her decision to join IROD must be hers and hers alone. She understood that her decision had to be based upon her own belief system as an individual person. Throughout her career as a slayer she had always allowed her own standard of passion to intermingle with her duty. She genuinely believed in her cause, a belief that fueled the fire and persistence of her fighting. If she went through with the proposition that IROD laid before her it must be because she thought that the continuing fight against evil would truly need her beyond her own life span and that that need would outweigh her own personal need for comfort and security. She couldn't allow Angel to fit into the equation, no matter how much her heart wanted her to. She was so confoundingly confused and she didn't know where to turn or which direction to go but what she did know was that she needed to decide about IROD once and for all, and soon. It could only be after that decision was made that she could explore the possibility of repairing her relationship with Angel, working it out in a way that both of them could recover from their broken hearts.
A noise coming from the direction of the bed drew her attention from her deep thoughts. Angel was stirring in his sleep, his arm reaching over to the now empty side of the bed that she had been previously been laying on. With a jolt he woke up, his mind realizing in a sleep filled haze that Buffy was no longer by his side. Frantically he looked around for her, instant worry and concern taking over his system. Buffy remained quite as she watched Angel quickly turn in her direction, his gaze relaxing noticeably when he finally found her. Buffy's heart swelled all over again at the relief she saw etched across Angel's face as he looked at her. A slow and beautiful smile lighted up his face. It was a real smile, one filled with happiness, love and adoration, it was the smile of a man who had just been given everything he had ever wanted out of life and wanted nothing more. Gingerly he stood up and walked over to her, crouching down before her and touching her cheek with his fingertips ever so softly. Buffy closed her eyes and brought her own hand up to cover his, allowing this brief moment of utter happiness to pass before she brought up IROD.
For minutes they stayed frozen like that, no words needed to express the presence of true love in the room. Only gradually did the moment pass and Buffy opened her eyes to face Angel once more. "We need to talk," she said softly.
"Yes," he replied, his eyes looking lovingly into hers, "we do."
Buffy took in a deep breath, finding it increasingly difficult to talk about anything when all she wanted to do was drown in the dark pools of his eyes. "Angel...We can't be together again, at least not yet, maybe not ever, I just don't know."
Angel's eyes grew instantly dark and filled with pain, his hand snapping back to his side. He looked away from her then, his body working to recover from the numbing and sharp pain that filled his being by her words. It was awhile before he could look at her again, his dark eyes once again seeking hers out only this time filled with questions. He didn't speak to her, he waited for her to finish, knowing there was more on the way.
Taking another breath she continued. "I haven't taken IROD up on their offer yet. I don't even know if I want to but I can't make that decision while trying to get back together with you. It would be wrong and it might result in me making the wrong decision for the wrong reasons," she finished, looking at him closely to see if he understood where she was coming from.
Understanding did fill his gaze, his eyes once again becoming soft. He regarded her with instant respect, realizing that this was a difficult ordeal for her and admiring her for her strength in dealing with it. It pained him to know that she was troubled by it and that it was causing her stress but he was also confident that she would make the right choice. She was the most important thing in the world to him and above all else she should be happy, however, he already knew what her decision would ultimately be. Buffy was a fighter, whether she realized it or not. Her very soul cried out for her to continually stop the forces of evil, she couldn't help but be what she was, which was a truly good person. IROD would appeal to the slayer in Buffy, the part of her that could never stop fighting to save mankind. Angel had two hundred and forty plus years under his belt to learn how to read people and Buffy was as strong and as pure as they came. She was the angel and his joy, but she was also a warrior and as long as there was evil in the world then she would fight. She wouldn't be able to stop herself from doing so. Compassion filled Angel's features as he regarded her, knowing she had a tough road ahead. She needed space and he would give it to her, but he also knew that buried in her frustration somewhere was confusion about her feelings for him. He couldn't blame her being scared of him, he had left her and now he was back in her life to complicate things once more. He needed to show her that he was there for her, he needed to reassure her that he loved her, he needed to take her in his arms and never let go.
"I understand," Angel said softly while standing up in front of her. "This is something you need to decide for yourself and I wont try to influence you. I only want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted for you, but when it is all said and done remember that I love you and that I will always love you. Everything I've done I did for you, even if I knew it would hurt us both and tear us both apart. No matter what you decide, I support you, even if your decision takes you away from me once more. But should you decide that you want to become immortal, which is a curse as much as it is a blessing, then remember that I will always be there for you. Always. There is no force on this planet that could tear me away."
Tears filled Buffy's eyes as she nodded in Angel's direction, pushing herself up to stand on her own two feet. "I'll remember," she replied.
Chapter 10:
Buffy walked tentatively up to the hotel room door, wanting to avoid the upcoming confrontation with her friends that she knew was bound to happen. She didn't feel the need to explain what had went on with Angel the previous night, though she knew that the questions would be there, floating in the air with the anger and accusations. Her friends were not known for their silence when it came to certain aspects of Buffy's love life, mainly anything to do with Angel and the fact that she had been gone all night probably fueled the curiosity she was sure to encounter the moment they opened the door.
She had never felt like doing anything less in her life then trying to explain to her friends what went on between her and Angel. She wasn't exactly sure of everything that went on herself; her emotions still a tangled mixture of love, sorrow and uncertainty. The only thing she was sure of was that she and Angel had made incredible, and life altering love and then they had talked. That fact that Angel supported her need for space while she pondered her future only confused her more for she wasn't sure if she wanted to hug him for his continuous and unbending support or if she should hit him for not getting down on his hands and knees and begging her to chose IROD and stay in his life for all eternity. All of these thoughts, however, were becoming way too much for her sleep deprived mind as she struggled to keep her shoulders from drooping.
Gingerly she knocked on the door, using every form of willpower not to yawn and show first hand that she had the weakness of being tired for the upcoming argument. Willow answered the door, her expression a combination of mild curiosity and overwhelming relief to see her friend back safe and sound.
"Hi Buffy," she said pleasantly, opening the door wider so that Buffy could enter, all the while struggling desperately to not bombard her friend with the questions that were burning in her mind. "I'm glad you found us, I left a message with the front desk clerk to let you know what rooms we ended up in. I see you got the message."
"Yeah, thanks," Buffy responded tiredly, her eyes unwillingly eyeing the soft and inviting queen sized beds that lay tantalizingly in the room before her. She wanted nothing more then to fall onto one them and slip into a deep and blissful sleep, though she was alert enough to her surroundings realize that that most likely wasn't going to happen any time soon. Cordelia was in the room along with Willow and Xander and Buffy could practically hear their thoughts, knowing full well that the interrogation was about to start. She couldn't help but think that despite everything she should have stayed at Angel's, at least he would have let her sleep.
"Well, well, if it isn't our good friend Buffy. You know, the one that spent the whole night doing god knows what with her demon ex while her bestest and closest friends spent the whole night worrying over her safety. Thanks for that phone call, Buff, we appreciate it, really," Xander exclaimed, his voice oozing with sarcasm.
"Oh, will you shut up. It's now becoming abundantly clear why I don't miss life in Sunnydale all that much. Nice to know you've matured since high school Xander, and I'm sure Buffy more then appreciates the fact that you've conquered your weird obsession with her love life," Cordelia spat out while patting the space next to her on the bed, indicating that Buffy should sit down.
"Love life!" Xander fumed, "there should be no love life when its in reference to Angel, all that man does is shred her heart to pieces every time they come in contact." Xander turned his eyes angrily on Buffy as she sat down, his rage practically tangible in the small room. "How many times does Angel have to break your heart before you learn?" He asked while continuing his tirade, his resolve crumbling when he witnessed the tired, hurt and confused look that crossed the slayer's face.
Buffy's eyes were dark pools of emotion, the obvious strain she was going through creating smoky whirlwinds of storms that brewed in the depths of her pupils. In all his years of knowing Buffy, Xander had never seen her like this. In outward appearances she looked like any other tired nineteen year old girl but it was her eyes that separated her from that allusion. Her eyes held all the questions of the universe, making her look like someone who was wise beyond her years, aging her in a way that reminded him of Angel in all his two hundred and forty plus years of knowledge and wisdom. Xander faltered in his questioning of Buffy, coming to the dawning realization that Buffy definitely did not need to hear this from him at the present point in time. For once he was putting her needs first above his own. He made a desperate wish that Buffy could find enough happiness to take that haunted look out of her eyes, even if that relief came in the form of Angel.
"He didn't break my heart Xander, I broke his," Buffy said very softly, her eyes not focusing on any one thing in the room. She didn't want to think about this now; she simply wanted to get some sleep. Her body was on the brink of reverting back to its primal needs of survival, especially considering she hadn't eaten, drank, or slept much in over a twenty-four hour period.
"You did what?!" Cordelia asked, instantly becoming defensive on Angel's behalf. As if he didn't have enough sorrow as it was. Cordelia had been hoping that Buffy and Angel could work every thing out, she in no way wanted Angel to suffer any more then he already had.
"I told him that we couldn't be together until I decide about whether I want to join IROD or not," she answered, her voice showing even more strain then before. She was trying desperately not to snap. She felt the urge to stand on the bed and yell out that it was none of their damn business and then curl up into a ball of dreamless unconsciousness, but she held back, knowing full well that everyone's intentions were good, just misplaced.
"I think that was wise," Willow spoke up, instantly reading her friends expression. "It makes sense that the IROD decision would weigh heavily on your future decision to rekindle anything with Angel." Neither Xander nor Cordelia could argue with that piece of logic, in fact Xander was marveling again at the maturity that Buffy possessed in making her decision. She was almost too mature for her own good. Xander wondered when the exact moment was that this transformation had happened to his friend and why was he too blind to notice it before. Four years of slaying, combined with the death of Riley Finn, the abandonment then subsequent reentry of Angel and the proposition of IROD had aged Buffy in a way that there was no going back. She had some decisions to make and he finally realized that he was powerless to stop them. He just wished that no matter what she decided she would find happiness. More then anything she deserved to be happy.
"Well, Buffy I hate to be the only one to say this but you look like hell. I would say you need about a hundred years worth of sleep," Cordelia stated with her usual bluntness, though there was concern masked deep with in her gaze. She too had matured indefinitely in the past year.
At last the wayward slayer smiled, the edges of her lips turning up only slightly, though a smile nonetheless. "You aren't kidding," she replied softly, leaning back on the bed and closing her eyes, already beginning to slip out of consciousness.
"Well, get tons of sleep then," Willow said in her motherly tone, "we'll entertain the IROD guys for you while you rest. They're staying in the next room so we'll just go out and get something to eat while we wait for you. I'll bring you something back. We're all going to need to be at our best when we go get Charles Nedo tonight."
It took awhile for Willow's comment to register in Buffy's mind but when it finally did her eyes flew open. In an instant she was wide-awake, all three of her friends smirking at her new found alertness. "What do you mean 'when we go get Charles Nedo tonight'?" Buffy questioned, inquiring the obvious.
"Well, you and Angel left in such a rush to leave that you weren't there to see what we found. Cordy picked up a matchbook with an address on it. Apparently one of the demons was a smoker and he or she did not realize that it had dropped this little baby," Xander said while holding up the clue for Buffy to inspect.
"This seems almost too easy," Buffy responded. "Are you sure this isn't the address to some local club or hotel or something completely none related?"
"Well, Willow here looked it up and the address belongs to a factory near by. You do the math, factory plus demon equals no good. Besides, the guy probably didn't even realize he dropped this. Demons aren't exactly known for their brains you know," Cordelia replied succinctly.
"It is entirely possible that the clue was dropped intentionally and we are heading into a trap," Buffy added, years of slaying arousing her suspicion.
"Gee, way to rain on our parade Buff. We thought we did good," Xander put in, giving her his best fake pout.
"You did do good," Buffy replied, her hand coming up to cover her head as a small headache came on. "Trap or not, we're still going to go. It is the only lead we have."
"Cool, it's decided then. Tonight we tango with the bad guys," Xander said eagerly, excited about the possibility of getting this whole thing over with and heading home.
"Sounds good to me, but I think we should really let Buffy sleep now," Willow replied with her customary concern. Buffy nodded at her gratefully as her three friends slowly filed out of the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Buffy fell into a troubled sleep, her mind still mulling over her future while her body attempted to get some rest. In a haze she layed silently for what seemed like hours, still slightly cognitive to her surroundings, her body and heart mourning the loss of the comfort given to her last night by a pair of strong arms and the touch of satin skin. Angel. With him she had remembered the pain he had caused her, but now, without him, she longed for his company. She didn't know what she was going to do.
Chapter 11:
The late afternoon sun peaked brightly through the slight part in the hotel room curtains. Buffy slowly woke from her troubled sleep, her mind foggy and in a slight daze. Slowly she sat up and glanced around her surroundings, making note of the fact that her friends weren't back yet from where ever it was they had gone. Buffy was actually relieved to find herself alone, needing the time to collect her thoughts before she joined with them again tonight, possibly in battle. Tentatively she stood and stretched, her body languidly coming out of its weakened sleeping state.
She could hear the bustle of moving traffic outside the hotel, reminding her through her haze that she was in LA. It was weird to her that she could be in LA and feel so detached, as if it didn't hold the memories of her childhood growing up in its overwhelming vastness. The past four years in Sunnydale seemed longer somehow then the first sixteen years of her life spent in LA. She could hardly fathom a time when her biggest problem was coming home from school to find her parents locked in a fierce argument, though at the time it had been devastating. And now she was back, this time fully-grown, childhood concerns of home and school replaced by worries of demons, immortality, and love.
The digital clock on the night stand beside the bed alerted her to the fact that she had a few more hours left until the sunset, a few hours left to visit the place that used to give her solace as a child, the beach. Quickly she grabbed her car keys off the small table in the room, jotting down a quick note to her friends before exiting the room in a quickened haste to leave before they could return and talk her out of it. She needed time to think and to be alone, for her own sanity and peace of mind if not for those around her as well. She knew that the two members of IROD would be expecting her answer soon, just as she knew that Angel would be there tonight as they checked out the warehouse, his presence a reminder to her of what she could have if she found the strength within herself to recover from the ache that tormented her heart and soul. Lost to her continuing cloud of confusion, she made a mad dash to her car, silently thanking her friends for finding other means of transportation. The time had come for her to make some decisions.
*****
The sand felt cool and soft against Buffy's feet as she walked barefoot across the beach, the ocean waves forcefully embracing the earth just inches away from where she stood, leaving trails of white foam on the ground. Sea gulls called out wildly overhead; some of them landing placidly on the ground in an attempt steal food from tourists that sat lunching on the shore. The sky stretched above in a bright array of beautiful blue, while the occasional small, white, fluffy cloud passed by at an unhurried speed. The quiet song of the ocean surf surrounded Buffy's soul like a balm as she stood and pondered her existence as the slayer and how that would weigh on her future.
Thoughts of Kendra came to mind, the brave and selfless slayer who had died a tragic and senseless death. Kendra had once told her that being a slayer wasn't a job, it was who they were and Buffy hadn't realized the full impact of those words until her powers had been taken from her on her eighteenth birthday by some bizarre test of the watchers council. She had realized at that time that she couldn't exist in the world, knowing what she knew and seeing what she's seen, and not fight against evil. Being the slayer was, in fact, who she was. She remembered the first few years of her slaying when she claimed to be two people, Buffy Summers by day and the Slayer by night, but that concept seemed foolish now. Buffy Summers was the slayer and the slayer was Buffy Summers, but the questioned remained whether she wanted to spend eternity fighting in the continuing battle her short life had already been confronted with.
Buffy continued to walk quietly over the sand, her mind lost so deep in thought that she didn't see the little boy who plowed into her legs. Startled, Buffy looked down, her eyes coming in contact with the earnest expression of the boy.
"I'm sorry, lady," the little boy said softly, his eyes close to tears.
"Hey, its okay," Buffy said, squatting down to his level. "It's really my fault, I should have been watching where I was going."
"Okay," the boy said softly, examining Buffy's face. "Want to see what my mommy bought me at the aquarium over there?" The little boy asked, deciding that Buffy looked friendly and she could be trusted.
"Sure," Buffy replied with a smile, her eyes lighting up in wonder at the innocence and trust this little person had for the world around him. He brought out a rock that he had in his hand. Upon closer examination she could tell that the rock had the imprint of a creature from long ago.
"It's a horseshoe crab," the little boy said. 'The guy at the museum said that horseshoe crabs have lived millions of years on this planet and they haven't changed much at all. This rock is a fossil of one that lived a long time ago and it's the same as the ones that live today."
"That's cool," Buffy replied with a smile.
"Yeah, it is," the little boy replied and then he looked closely at Buffy. "Don't you think it would be cool to live for a million years and not change? You could see the world change, and see what people invent in the future, like Star Trek."
Buffy gasped, shocked by the perception of the boy. It was impossible that this boy could know anything about her chance to become immortal, and yet here he was asking her the very question that her heart had been pondering the last twenty-four hours of her life. Buffy gave her head a quick shake, realizing that it all had to be a coincidence.
"I would think it would be hard to live hundreds of years and watch the people close to you grow old and die while you stayed the same," Buffy replied, finding herself eagerly awaiting the boys response.
"Maybe," the little boy said, "but then maybe, if you were a horseshoe crab, you could find a mate for life, like swans. My teacher said that swans only have one mate their whole life and when one dies the other never finds another swan to be with. Maybe horseshoe crabs are the same way and they could find a mate to live forever with them."
Tears sprung instantly to Buffy's eyes, her mind amazed that this boy had struck once again at the very heart of the matter. Could Angel be her swan? Would he stay long enough to spend eternity with her? There was a risk in deciding to find out; a risk in opening up her heart to him once more with the potential of being hurt, but life was all about risks. She loved Angel, loved him enough to take the risk of opening herself up to him once more, but then that would only happen if she decided in favor of joining IROD.
"You're pretty smart," Buffy told the little man in front of her, smiling as the boy blushed. He looked up at Buffy adoringly; deciding for the first time in his life that maybe not all girls had cooties.
"There is one thing that wouldn't be good about living forever if you were a horseshoe crab," the boy continued, "and that would be the monsters."
Buffy's heart rate started to pick up. She could feel the blood start to race through her veins, boiling in her ears. She looked very closely at the boy's face, examining him for the slightest inkling that he knew about who and what she was but she saw nothing in the innocent brown eyes.
"You know, the sharks and stuff that came around way after the horseshoe crab was already here?" the boy continued after Buffy said nothing. "It would be scary to live to see all these big, bad and mean things be born and come to eat you and take over your home and make you afraid."
"That's true," Buffy finally managed to respond; her heart rate still dizzyingly increased. She wondered briefly what kind of monsters would evolve in the future and how they would be different from the ones she fought in this time on a daily basis. It was definitely something worth considering. Like the sharks of the sea, the future might hold an even greater threat to mankind, something she would want to be around to fight.
She looked again at the boy, her amusement returning. "Did IROD send you here to talk to me?" she asked jokingly, half way serious in her question.
"Huh?" the boy asked, entirely confused.
Buffy laughed, amazed at the irony in her life. "Its nothing, thanks for showing me your crab," she said softly.
"You're welcome," the boy responded. "I better go find my mom. It was nice to meet you, miss."
"Likewise," Buffy responded, giving him a slight wave as he turned and started to walk away.
Buffy stayed squatted in her sitting position, the glow of the sand catching her eye. Millions of tiny crystals shining under the brightness of the late sun, a gently reminder of the ageless beauty of the earth. Buffy picked up a hand full of sand and watched as it sifted through her fingers. Tiny flecks of gold and glass like crystal lingering behind on her palm. She wondered how old these grains of sand were and if they had once been part of something greater and larger, years of erosion creating their a role in the beach of today. The rocks and mountains that she had visited in her life might one day be part of the beach, and she might be around to see it happen.
Slowly she stood back up, dusting her hands off on her pants. The sun was starting to fade in the sky, a brilliant array of color streaking across the sky in its wake. The amazing display of oranges, purples and pinks filled Buffy's vision, creating a calm peace within her being. She longed to look at the sunset forever, to see night after night of glorious splendor, and never grow tired of its magnificence.
Buffy had made her decision.
Chapter 12:
The light of day had already bowed to the mystical force of night by the time Buffy returned to the hotel room. It was during this time that the city of LA had come truly alive, as if the day was a hibernation period that preluded the breath of life that dominated the city the moment that darkness fell. The city lights twinkled, the sirens wailed, and somewhere within its boundaries, demons lurked in silent and deadly terror. Buffy could almost feel the energy radiating off of the city; it overwhelmed her in its all-encompassing mixture of hope, fear, and sexual innuendo. She wondered briefly if Angel felt it the same way she did about the city, night after night, and if the said energy both called out and repulsed him both at the same time the way it did her. It was here in LA, even more so then Sunnydale, that she felt like a true combination of both hunter and prey, existing as both in startling clarity.
Buffy saw her friends standing together in the parking lot as she pulled up. Her heart warmed immediately when she saw that Angel was with them, his handsome face recognizable to her from even blocks away. He stood slightly separate from the others, a little apart they way he always had been, as if he were guarding over them and keeping watch. He was the first to look up and catch her eyes as she parked her car, as if he sensed her coming. He smiled instantly when he saw her, his face lighting up to put a small twinkle in his eyes. The look he gave her was one of unmistakable love and Buffy felt her heart rate start to increase. She felt almost free now that she had made her decision about IROD, it was as if a great weight had been taken off of her shoulders and she could now donate her time to thinking of other things, like Angel.
She knew that he loved her, someone who was both blind and deaf could easily come to the same conclusion for the love radiated off of him in waves. Though she knew she was sending off those same waves to him, hers just mixed with a little bit of uncertainty. It was funny to her that the more hours that passed the less fearful she became about the thought of opening herself up to Angel again. Perhaps with time his love would be able to completely get rid of the seeds of doubt that he himself had planted in her a year ago. Perhaps they could both heal with the help of each other and perhaps she should let it happen. Buffy gave Angel a small smile back through the tint of her car windshield, her heart lifting even more when she caught his eyes with her own. His eyes shown like a warm, brown, hypnotizing place created all for her, a place she could loose herself in and feel safe, a place she could spend eternity in. Hope resounded through her body as the last of her doubts slipped quietly to the background. There were no guarantees that her heart would never get broken again, but one in depth look into Angel's eyes reminded her that any time spent with him was worth that risk. He would always be the only man she ever loved and for the first time since they've known each other they might have the real chance of making it work. To deny herself that, to deny herself HIM, would also be its own form of heartbreak. That didn't mean, however, that he didn't have some serious atoning to do, a thought that made Buffy smile slightly to herself as she got out of the car.
Her friends walked up to her car as she got out, everyone of their faces filled with curiosity, even the two IROD members, who were walking behind the group with semi knowing looks of understanding on their faces.
"Did you have a nice walk?" Willow asked casually, trying to read her friend's mind through her expression.
"Yes, I did, thank you," Buffy answered vaguely, her heart racing as Angel slowly approached her, his tall frame coming up to stand by her side.
"Hi," he said softly, his eyes trying desperately to read hers.
"Hi," she responded equally soft. Angel looked at her as if transfixed; taking in her beauty and her light as it went straight to his heart the way it always did whenever he saw her. He slowly reached up to pull a twig out of her hair, his hands brushing her cheek when he finished; her skin was as soft and as smooth as the petals of a rose. He couldn't help himself, he couldn't make himself stop, he felt the overwhelming urge to touch her in any way that he could. Buffy did not stop him nor move away from his touch; instead she leaned her cheek so it would be even more cradled in his hand. Angel felt his heart jump in response, there was trust and love in her actions, both of which gave him hope that Buffy was close to forgiving him for past sins created. Memories of their time spent together the previous night danced through both of their heads, causing warmth to spread between the two of them like an electrical current. After awhile Buffy pulled away to address her friends, her eyes giving Angel one last look of longing before getting back to the matters at hand, aware that she and Angel had an audience.
"So why did you leave to go on a walk Buffy?" Xander asked, the first of her friends to ask what they had all wanted to know.
"I needed time to think," she answered smoothly, catching the gazes of Talan and Chan as she did so. Both IROD members smiled at her, knowing full well just what Buffy had needed the time to think about.
"You remind me of myself when I was asked to join IROD, Ms. Summers. I went on plenty of walks, I assure you," Chan claimed laughingly. "So did you come to any conclusions on this walk of yours?"
"Yes," Buffy answered, "I did."
All eyes were turned sharply at Buffy, each person trying to read the answer in her demeanor. The moment of truth had come. Each person in the small group held the hope of what her answer would be for different reasons. Angel felt his heart stop as he waited, his mind trying desperately not to wish too strongly for her decision to be in favor to her joining IROD, though his heart couldn't help but not listen to his mind as it raced in anticipation. He would support her decision either way but as selfish as the idea was, he couldn't help but hold the hope of having her become immortal by joining this organization. He had been restless all through out the day, fantasies of life with Buffy consuming his thoughts. He had had fantasies of patrolling with Buffy, of sharing kisses under the moonlight, of making love to her and waking up from sleep to find her nestled in his arms, of stopping the dark forces of evil together, side by side, equal partners in life and in love. He had left her a year ago in the pretense that they could never have a future together, that his curse and his immortality stood in the way of her happiness, even though they had been destined to love each other. At last there was hope for them and Angel wanted desperately to take it. He wanted her more then he wanted blood, more then he wanted to be able to watch the sun rise, more then he had ever wanted anything in two hundred and forty some years of existence. Fate was finally providing him with the opportunity to find true happiness for eternity and he just prayed he would be able to take it.
At the same time he wanted the decision to be hers. He had sacrificed his own happiness for hers before and he would do it again. More then anything Buffy deserved to be fulfilled in life, she deserved to be fulfilled in the knowledge that she had done everything that was best for her. Immortality was not a walk in the park. It too held its problems. After awhile it became tiring, watching the world change, watching people come and go, witnessing acts of war and violence that were only seldom interrupted by acts of peace and love, but he knew that Buffy was strong enough to overcome the down side of becoming immortal. She was strong, stronger then he was, and she would breath new life into any day.
Buffy smiled conspiratorially at the crowd surrounding her as they waited for her answer. She could practically feel the curiosity radiating off of her friends as if it were a tangible substance, and she hoped they weren't going to be too disappointed by what she was about to say, but it was time to get serious.
"I'll fill you guys in about my life choices later, right now we have some demon hunting to do and we can't afford to be distracted," Buffy said as each of her friends let out groans of protest.
"Buffy, you're killing me, really. You know I have no patience to speak of," Xander claimed with an exaggerated slap to his forehead. "Screw the demons and Giles' damn book, I wanna know now."
"Sorry Xand, but demons first, life story later, I promise," She said in response to Xander but it was Angel who she was looking at. He looked at her intensely, as if he were trying to read the answer in her expression. His dark pupils grew large, nearly drowning her in their dark pools of wisdom. At last he shook his head to signal that he understood her need to wait, and that he wouldn't pressure her for the information. Willow, Cordelia, Chan and Talan also looked disappointed but realized the need to discuss Buffy's future later, when they weren't about to enter into a potentially violent scenario. For now they had demons to kill, a book to gain possession of and kidnapped bookstore owner that needed to be found and returned to the safety of his home...if he were still alive.
Chapter 13:
The address on the matchbook that Cordelia had found had led them to a factory not far from the bookstore that Charles Nedo had disappeared from. The warehouse barely stood out from the others that surrounded it in the industrial neighborhood. It was rectangular in shape, very tall; its sides made of rippled metal. The only tell tale difference between it and the others that surrounded it were the lights that burned brightly from the inside and shone out the small windows that neared the roof on either side of the building. Buffy took in a large breath as she gazed up at the warehouse, still worried over the possibility that she was leading herself and her friends into a trap. An address written on a matchbook still seemed way too obvious of a clue, the demons might as well have drawn a map and put a big "X" over the location the factory, symbolizing 'we are here.' It was possible that the slip on their part was unintentional for how would the demons have known that she would be traveling all the way from Sunnydale to visit that particular bookstore at that particular time? There was also the possibility that the trap had been laid out for Angel and Cordelia, the demons not counting on the fact that they were going to have a slayer and company thrown into the equation.
Buffy shook her head to try and rid her mind of these thoughts. She knew it did no good to ponder it for they were going inside either way, they really had no other choice. Angel came up and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, his eyes showing that he too was trying to tactically analyze their situation. She could almost feel the battle readiness that vibrated through him, and she could sense the predator just aching to come to the surface. It felt good to have him guarding her back again, just like old times. She hadn't realized just how much she missed having his partnership in the slaying until she was faced with it again. Despite the potential danger they were about to face, she felt safe. Having Angel by her side had always installed that feeling of safety. For once the responsibility of the fight didn't lie entirely on her, she had someone equal in strength and training to fight along side with. As much as she loved her friends, they could do little when it came to the physical portion of a dangerous scenario. Though they tried and they often did the best that they could it was different then having Angel with her. Angel understood the fight; he was the hunter as she was the slayer. It was ingrained in their instinct to seek out and destroy, it was borne into their adrenaline to fight, and it was swelled within their blood to win. It was just one of the many things that had made Buffy feel hallow the past year that Angel had been gone, because he had been the only one that fully understood the burden of her calling.
She looked up into his eyes, allowing herself the brief comfort of their contact. He felt the warrior in her just as she had sensed it in him and both signaled with unspoken truth that they were in this together, partners in battle and unstoppable in force. A gentle happiness touched Buffy's heart at the thought of having Angel fight by her side, though she felt slightly guilty that she could feel such joy in a situation that could potentially lead to someone getting hurt. She gave Angel a small smile, an action meant to signify that she was ready and it was time to go. She quickly turned to her friends behind them, her mind formulating a plan of attack.
"We're going to need a distraction. Someone to go in through the front door and get the attention of the baddies while the rest of us sneak in from behind. It wont take them long to realize that we are there but at least it will provide us with enough time to see what's the what and gain the element of surprise. Any volunteers?" Buffy asked, her eyes falling softly on Xander. Everyone else following in the direction of her gaze.
"What?!" Xander asked, exasperated. "Why are you all looking at me to do it? Like I want to be the one to go in and play face off with the bad guys. I don't think so."
"Its cause you're expendable, Xander," Cordelia couldn't help but tease as she received an angry glare from Xander. It was all the rest of them could do to hold back from laughing as Xander continued to fume in Cordelia's direction.
"Fine, I'll do it," he stormed out, "if only to show her how a real man faces battle," he finished while wagging his finger at Cordelia.
"Thanks Xand," Buffy said, interrupting her friend's tirade and sneaking a wink at Cordelia. Buffy was impressed that Cordelia had known just what buttons to push to get Xander's ego to over shadow his fear, she would have to remember that for future reference. "We won't let you go too long without back up, I promise. It should only be a minute."
"Better be," was all Xander mumbled as the group began to slowly walk towards the factory. Buffy turned to glance at Angel one more time before battle. She could see the twinkling amusement that glistened briefly in his eyes over Xander and Cordelia's exchange but there was also a fierce and protective glow there as well. He nodded his head at Buffy to show he too was ready, pale flecks of yellow gold starting to glint in his eyes as he became dangerously close to reverting to his game face persona.
The group approached the factory in silence, the only sound coming from their footsteps as shoes contacted with hard, cold pavement. Nobody spoke for fear of alerting the occupants inside of the building to their arrival. Buffy softly handed Xander a cross and a stake as the neared the front entrance, her eyes trying to send him strength as she nodded for him to go. Xander tentatively approached the door as the others left to sneak around the backside of the building. He paused only briefly to take a deep breath before opening the door, ready to face his doom.
Buffy led the others to the rear door of the building, her heart rate climbing, Angel not two steps behind her. Slowing she reached for the metal doorknob, not entirely surprised to find it locked. As quietly as she could muster she forced the knob to give, cringing as the door opened with a creak. She could hear rustling from within in the building as she slowly tiptoed inside, everyone else following her lead. The two IROD members looked amused by the whole scenario, their expressions indicating little fear, it was obvious they had dealt with this kind of situation before. Willow and Cordelia were obviously afraid, though doing their best to hide it. Their years as slayerettes had trained them to approach any situation as calmly as they could.
The site that greeted them on the inside of the building did not help to levitate their anxiety. Xander stood in front of the room, holding a cross out in front him at arms length. A group of vampires had gathered around him looking like they were ready to pounce at any moment. Other vampires were sitting around a table, a book resting open on its surface as though they were making plans from its context. An elderly gentleman sat tied in a chair, his cloth covered mouth silent as he watched Buffy and the others sneak in from behind. He was the first to notice their arrival.
Buffy felt her fingers tightened around her stake as she turned to face her friends. Angel had already slipped into game face, and looked ready to spring into action. Willow and Cordelia clutched their own crosses tightly to them, their eyes wide, their demeanor quiet. Talan and Chan each held a stake in one hand, a bottle of holy water in the other, each looking at Buffy to wait for her to give the signal to attack. Buffy gave the gentle nod of confirmation and each person, demon or otherwise, sprang into action.
What followed was pandemonium. It didn't take the vampires long to gather their barring. Cordelia and Willow stood back to back, each holding their cross in front of them as Willow mouthed the words to a spell to get shards of wood to levitate into unsuspecting vampires chests. Buffy and Angel forged ahead, staying side by side as they deflected one attack after another, each of their movements filled with skilled precision. Despite their year of being apart they still had the ability to fall in synch with each other, warm memories of times past filling their minds despite the battle they were fearlessly waging. To Buffy's amazement, the IROD members were also fighting with amazing skill, holding their own against any demon that came their way.
The vampires fought well but they had obviously been unprepared for the attack. Buffy got a grim satisfaction in knowing that she and her friends had the upper hand. It was obvious within the first few moments of battle that the vamps had not been expecting company. Xander made a mad dash for the tied up man that the others could only assume was Charles Nedo, his hands trying desperately to untie the knots as everyone else fought to keep the remaining vampires away from Xander as he did so. Angel reached and grabbed the book from the table, closing it and hitting a vampire over the head with it as Buffy staked that same vamp from behind.
The battle was over quickly, though the gang was none the worse for wear. Buffy was breathing heavily as she made eye contact with Angel, a dark humor reflecting in his eyes.
"Good job," he said with a gentle smile, "I see you haven't lost your touch," he continued, gently teasing while relishing in the satisfaction of a completed task.
"Same goes for you," Buffy replied, returning his smile. Angel held out his hand for her to take, a pleasant sensation flowing from their combined fingers up their arms as they made contact. They smiled again at each other before turning to go talk to the dazed bookstore owner. The older man glanced up at Buffy as she approached, his eyes shining with relief.
"You must be Buffy Summers," he said with quiet, ex-watcher authority.
"That would be a correct assumption," Buffy answered semi sarcastically. Although the man was a retired member of the council she couldn't help but get a little defiant in his presence. The older man smiled slightly at her tone, amused by her response. Any doubts he had that this was the reputed headstrong slayer he had heard about vanished.
"I'm relieved you found me. Mr. Giles had called me days ago inquiring about that book," he continued while nodding towards the book in Angel's other hand. "And I was hoping against hope that you were on your way and that you'd be able to find the match book I grabbed from the pocket of the demon the carried me out of my store."
Cordelia snorted in amusement to Mr. Nedo's words. "See Buffy, I told you the match book wasn't a trap. Demons are really too dumb to think of a plan like that. You're really getting paranoid in your old age."
Angel squeezed Buffy's hands as Buffy rolled her eyes. "Whatever Cordy. You try slaying for going on five years now and see how paranoid you become."
Charles Nedo quietly eyed Buffy again, respect shining in his eyes. It was rare for a slayer to survive that long in the field, Buffy Summers was to be commended. "You know Miss Summers I'm willing to bet that the council would be more then willing to reinstate both your and Giles employment into the cause," he remarked with an unashamed hint towards pushing Buffy back into the clutches of the council that had always done more damage then good.
"No thanks," Buffy responded with a smile. She looked back at Talan and Chan, then directed her gaze at Angel, the moment of truth had come. "I've found employment elsewhere. There is another organization that I'll be joining very shortly."
Chapter 14:
The room fell into utter silence following Buffy's proclamation. Each person froze solid into place, a torrid of emotions keeping bodies still and minds overwhelmed. Buffy kept her eyes locked onto Angel's, trying to read his position on her decision in their depths. As she always did upon looking into his gaze, she found herself drowning slowly and completely in a kaleidoscope of life and color. A slow smile covered Angel's face and reached up into his eyes; tears slowly filling them as they caused his eyes to glisten like the smooth surface of a lake. Buffy lost herself into their special realm of reality, the presence of her friends and her surroundings becoming a blur around her. Angel moved his hands up in slow motion, his cool fingertips coming to rest just under her eyes as he cupped both of her cheeks in his hands. He stood there staring at her for long moments, the impact of her decision slowly working its way through his system, causing his body to feel warm and vibrant despite his vampiric nature. He looked out at the world with new eyes, the world seeming like a much brighter place all of the sudden. Unable to control his joy he moved his hands to either side of her waist, lifting her up and spinning her around as silver laughter escaped from both their lips. On Angel's chest a little glass ball glowed bright red, signifying that its owner had just experienced another moment of pure, untainted happiness, though the joy felt in the moment blocked out any pain that he might of felt as his soul was once again transferred back into his body.
A light tap on Buffy's shoulder soon interrupted their brief exhilaration. Chan and Talan had approached her from behind, a genuine smile on both of their faces.
"Let us be the first to welcome you into the family, Miss Summers. It is an honor to have you join us. We will definitely be looking forward to working with you," Chan said with diplomatic sincerity, though his eyes sparkled with amused approval.
"Here, here," Talan confirmed, sticking out his hand for a congratulatory shake.
"Thank you," Buffy responded, turning away from Angel to shake both the gentlemen's hands, her own eyes sparkling. "But we'll see how much a welcome I get a few months down the road. I tend to do badly in demonology related organizations," she joked flippantly, the comment not escaping the retired watcher Charles Nedo as he watched this exchange, knowing full well that this slayer had indeed earned a name for herself and that she was moving up in the world. The council had truly lost its greatest prize, though the world would be better off as a result. The war was not over, nor was it won, but the most successful slayer in recorded history now had an immortal pass to greatness. In a way the council had a small victory, for the battle would rage on, but they could rest in the knowledge that she would keep fighting, existing on the same side as they were in heart though not in obedience. For now the slayer had saved him and she now had possession of the book that her watcher had requested. The book described the many dimensions of hell and how to access them up to and including the Hellmouth, a subject the demons who had taken him had been interested in. As her reputation suggested, she had foiled the demons shallow attempts just now, interrupting their plans, and bringing order into chaos. It was just too bad that no one in the group seemed interested in what they had accomplished at the moment.
"I have a feeling you'll fit right in Miss Summers," Chan replied, "when I first told you about IROD I never said we play it by the rules. You'll find we're a bit more, how should I put this, open to suggestion then your last wayward source of information. We're a team here and we all work together. I'm sure you'll hear all of this when you come with us to England for your induction."
"There's more that I think you should know, especially in regards to England," Buffy added suddenly, causing all eyes in the room to once again bore into the back of her head. The subject of England brought a small well of panic inside her, the first she had since making her decision in its finality. "When we first met and you told me about IROD you mentioned that I could pick the topic that I wanted to specialize in for the research."
"That is correct," Chan confirmed, knowing already where this was heading.
Buffy glanced at Willow and Xander for the first time since announcing her decision, her heart melting a little inside as she witnessed them struggle with the courage to let her go for the sake of her own happiness, their faces betraying their emotions. She gave them a little smile to reassure them, relieved to see Willow and then Xander return her smile with tear filled ones of their own.
"Then I want my area of specialty to be the Hellmouth," Buffy said, keeping her gaze locked on her friends. She smiled again when she saw the dawning of understanding light up in their eyes as they came to comprehend her words. "There is nothing like taking my cake and eating it too," she quietly teased. In the space of a moment her friends were by her side, both of them engulfing her in a hard and desperate hug.
Both Chan and Talan smiled, though it was Talan that spoke this time. "We figured as much. Lucky for you the Hellmouth is an area that definitely could use more information and we're fresh out of people willing to take the risk of studying it. You're hired. Can't wait to read what you come up with."
Buffy gave them a quick nod before turning back to her friends, finding Willow looking desperately in her direction.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Willow asked gently while meeting her friend's eyes, though in her heart she already knew the answer. Buffy would never have agreed to join if she didn't decide whole-heartedly that this was what she wanted. As long as Buffy was secure in her decision, then so was Willow, especially since Buffy had decided to remain in Sunnydale despite a large world of possibilities.
"Yes, this is what I want. I know that I'm doing the right thing," Buffy answered softly as Willow gave her another hug. Buffy looked over at Xander, knowing that he was probably going to be the less supportive out of the two. He met her hazel eyes with his brown ones, the first signs of maturity glowing brightly within his gaze.
"If you're happy Buffy, then that's all that matters," he said with the utmost feeling. He gave her another smile, trying to cover the fact that his eyes were tearing. "Just know that when I'm old, fat and balding and you still look twenty, I might be inclined to hate you," he finished, unable to repress the urge to tease. Buffy felt a giggle well up in her throat, her heart light. Xander teasing her was a good sign, it meant that everything was indeed okay between the two of them and she no longer had need to doubt. He had accepted and understood her decision.
Not to be outdone or ignored, Cordelia was next to come up to give Buffy a hug. The tall brunette pulled away and examined Buffy's face closely, giving Buffy a reassuring nod when she confirmed in Buffy's expression that the slayer was indeed happy in her choice.
"I knew you would come to your senses," she reprimanded, though her eyes sparkled with mischief. "About time, it only took you long enough. Let's see, living forever with a man who idolizes you or dying the young and tragic death of a slayer. Hard one there Buff, but at least I'm no longer questioning your sanity," Cordelia finished as she pulled out of Buffy's arms.
"Thanks...I think," Buffy responded ironically, giving Cordelia a slight nod before returning her gaze to Angel's. Slowly she moved back into the reach of his arms, her heart racing with joy and unadulterated happiness with no repercussions of doubt for the first time in the year since he had left her alone in Sunnydale. He immediately scooped her back into his arms, wanting to keep her in his embrace to confirm that it was not a dream and that she would be his for all eternity. She pulled only slightly away, just enough so that she could look him in the eyes.
"I'll go to England for the induction but as soon as its done I'll be back..." Buffy started before Angel put a finger over her lips to quiet her.
"You'll be back in Sunnydale where I will be waiting for you," Angel finished softly, his eyes devouring her face, committing every detail to memory while basking in the glow of her smile.
Buffy felt overwhelming pleasure fill his being at his words, her body feeling weightless and entirely awake. "Not so fast, lover," she gently chided in a sexy drawl, "you have a lot of making up to do for lost time."
A huge smile light Angel's face as he responded to her loving teasing. "I do," he agreed, "I really, really do. So how do you suggest I do that?"
"Well," she responded, "I suggest tons of dates of the non-patrol variety, flowers, chocolates, moonlight serenades under my window as well as poetry composed in my honor."
"I see," Angel said, combing his fingers through her silky hair. "Anything else?"
"Well, there may be a few other things you can do," she said, running a single finger up the middle of his chest. " After all it has been a long and lonely year."
Angel just laughed as he pulled her tightly to him, his face becoming serious as his heart thumped wildly in his chest as the result of the contact. He didn't know what he had done in life to deserve the opportunity but he had seen enough in life not to question it. Fate was finally working for him and he would be forever in its gratitude. He kissed the top of her head as he grasped her even tighter. "I'll never give you reason to be lonely again Buffy, I promise."
She pulled back and smiled at him, tears making tracks down her cheeks.
"I know," she said, and she did.
Epilogue:
Buffy walked alone down the cobble stone streets of London, the dense fog of night swirling around her body. She pulled her coat tightly around her, the cool night air running its way up her spine. She didn't think it was possible considering the town she came from, but she was actually home sick. The past month had been tiring, she had read more, trained more, and listened more then she had ever remembered doing in her life, but it was good that she kept busy for when she stopped to reflect the lapses of longing would come. Visions of cool skin, pale and smooth would fill her mind as the faint memory of pure male, masculine scent filled her nose.
The moon shone brightly over head as Buffy walked restlessly though the night, wondering what Angel was doing and if he was thinking of her. The truth was that she was impatient, impatient to start her new life and to rediscover her old one. The ceremonies for her initiation had come and gone, allowing time to past from moment to agonizing moment as she grew closer and closer to her release back into the wildness of Sunnydale.
So far she liked IROD, she appreciated their laid back atmosphere and the friendly members, but the thrill of the hunt summoned to her, growing stronger with each passing day. She felt like a caged animal, wired and restless, needing the freedom of patrol with her partner by her side. She often had to stop and remind herself that she had eternity to do these things, that life no longer needed to pass at a dizzying speed without allowing her the time to take a breath. She had a hundred lifetimes to look forward to, a life filled with excitement and challenges, punctuated by occasional moments of quiet reflection. She couldn't wait to share all promises of the future with the man she loved completely and with her whole heart. His soul beckoned to her and she would follow, distance, curses, and callings no longer struggling to keep them apart.
Through the darkness of night Buffy made out the image of a man through the fog before her. Slowly and steadily the figure made its way over to her, the sound of shoes barely making a sound against the pavement. Buffy felt her heart rate start to increase as she recognized the size, posture and stride of the man rapidly approaching. Like magic he had matriculated from her mind into the mist, his pure male essence filling her being. Buffy smiled as he grew close, his eyes shining in the dark like the predatory eyes of a cat.
"I thought you were going to wait for me in Sunnydale," Buffy said softly as Angel stood in front of her with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a red, heart shaped box of chocolates in the other. Angel smiled brightly in contrast to the darkness of night, his heart shining in his eyes.
"I couldn't wait another minute to be with you."
THE END
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